Posts on Diff's Pilgrimage Notes

Homebuying Tips from Four Houses

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

So far, I’ve bought four houses. In 2015, I bought a 76 square meter house in Changsha and sold it in 2022. In 2019, I bought a second house in Shanghai, 88 square meters, and sold it in 2022. In 2023, I bought a third house in Los Angeles (2500 square feet), which I sold in August 2024. And in July 2024, I bought a 3300 square feet house in Dallas, where we currently live.

An AI-Written Eulogy

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I had AI analyze the 290 blog posts I’ve written over the past 20 years—a total of over 200,000 words—and asked it to summarize my life in a eulogy.

First, reading this eulogy was quite moving. I felt like the AI understood me, maybe even more deeply and thoroughly than any person ever has.

Second, I realized the purpose of writing, especially the importance of writing consistently over the long term. Writing isn’t for others; it’s a record of oneself.

Freedom

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Last weekend, I attended a retreat called Marvel Men.

One of the segments was to meditate on what kind of God God is and how my relationship with Him is.

We were standing outside. When I looked up at the sky, I saw a tall pine tree in front of me. The pine tree was home to many little birds, and some were flying around in the sky, giving me a sense of great freedom.

Revisiting Midlife Career Crisis for Designers in the AI Era (And the Way Forward)

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The idea of a career crisis is really just a surface issue. At its core, it’s pressure or confusion over two things: survival and personal value and meaning. Maybe I was lucky—at 36, the startup I worked with went public on NASDAQ, easing the pressure on survival for me. (But the question of personal value and meaning never stopped haunting me.)

Between 2019 and 2021, people saw me as a “success story” for designers, and I gave talks to friends and companies.

Thoughts on Starting an Indie Development Journey

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

On March 29 of this year, I left the organization I had served for five years to become an indie developer.

Five years isn’t a short time. For me, these past five years were a pivotal period, as I immigrated from China to the United States.

I’m very thankful for the friends I worked with. It was a great team with a good environment for work and growth. Even so, I felt the time had come to move to the next stage, or at least to change something.

Grateful in 2025

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This is an annual review that’s almost four months late. Better late than never. The initial content was drafted before Thanksgiving 2025, but I never polished it. At first, I planned to post it on New Year’s Day 2026, but procrastinated. Then, I aimed for the Chinese Lunar New Year, but failed again. I delayed another two months until now.

Thank God for loving and saving me. Thank God for His grace, mercy, slow to anger, and long-suffering. Thank God for not giving up on someone like me — rebellious and worldly. In 2025, God’s grace was abundant, yet I was so rebellious and weak. I love Him, but don’t draw near.
Thank God for keeping us in the church, in the community of brothers and sisters. Thank God for the care and support from the brothers and sisters around us.
Thank God for Brother Wang Wei’s help in guiding us through marital challenges. Thank Brother Wang for his passion; with God-given love, he helped and supported us, teaching us how to improve our marriage and better care for our children.
Thank God Anran’s eczema improved significantly. In July, while in Jeju Island, his eczema flared up due to the humidity. I broke down and cried out to God in prayer — an unforgettable experience.
Thank God for the opportunity to travel with my parents and mother-in-law over the summer. Grateful for the joyful family gatherings.
Thank God for letting us meet with XF and Brother HH while in Singapore, and thanks for their hospitality. It was heartwarming to see long-time friends living peacefully and happily, and I thank God for all the preparations.
Thank God for leading the coworkers from our hometown church to share the Gospel with my parents. Several brothers and sisters, whom they’d just met, came to my home to chat and share — in the sweltering July heat. I’m grateful for their efforts.
Thank God for Eather’s healthy growth. Thank God for blessing me with such a lovely young daughter at the age of 40 — she brings much joy and comfort to my life.
Thank God for the opportunities to go rowing, fishing, and camping several times this year. Thank God for the wondrous beauty of creation. Each time watching the sunrise, seeing the unique Texas Dallas sky, I can’t help but sing ‘How Great Thou Art.’
Thank TMS group, Teacher Han, and Mrs. Han for their help. We say we support them, but truthfully they remind, help, and comfort us more.
Thank my younger brother for going fishing with me in the summer. Though we don’t talk much, fishing is a silent communication — a rare shared interest.
Thank my dad for diligently helping us with dealing with resettlement compensation and follow-up matters.
Thank God for moving us through Pastor Travis’s sermons on the Story Church podcast.
Thank God for keeping me healthy. I suffered from pollen allergies in March, but recovered later. By year-end, I realized the importance of staying healthy and started maintaining some exercise.
Thank God for providing for our family’s needs. When doing accounts, I noticed our situation in recent years is better than before. Even though the economy is tough, ‘our clothes did not wear out nor did our feet swell’ during those forty years in the wilderness, reminding me of God’s grace.
Thank God and my family for their patience. I’m not easy to get along with, often misunderstanding and losing my temper. Thank them for accepting and tolerating me.
Thank my work PM team. Thank God for such a ministry, a job that allows me to connect with the latest things. Thanks to everyone for their acceptance and patience.
Thank God for the chance to reunite with old family and friends in Shanghai over the summer, especially getting to know Brother An’s family better.
Thank Sister Zhang from Trinity Church for her beautiful testimonies. She often cares for our family, giving gifts; she actively participates in mission work with great testimonies and sharing.
Thank God for my wife. Grateful for her care of the family over the past year, for everything she quietly did — tasks often overlooked, deemed unimportant or meaningless, yet necessary. Let each of us enjoy her service. May the Lord grant us a heart willing to serve.

Starting to Attend Church Prayer Meetings

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

After coming back from China, I wanted to make some changes in my faith life and resolve to have “the mind of Christ.”

When I saw the notice for the Wednesday church prayer meeting, my initial reaction was the same as before: I won’t go. I didn’t want to participate, for several reasons. First, I still don’t feel a sense of belonging at the church (even after almost a year of joining). Second, it’s quite far—14 miles, a 30-minute drive. Third, I need to work evenings.

Why I Keep Doing Woodwork, Even Though It's Costly, Tiring, and Time-consuming

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

After moving to the U.S., I started doing some woodworking, mainly small furniture like tables, bookshelves, and fences. One time, Yanbing asked me how much these woodworking materials cost. I told her a number, and she was really surprised. With that amount, we could easily buy ready-made furniture that looks higher quality from the market. So why do I insist on making them myself?

Doing it myself not only means bearing the cost of raw materials, but also requires a lot of physical effort. I need to make multiple trips to the building materials market. Then, there’s the time spent on designing, cutting wood, assembling, sanding, and perfecting all the details. The time and energy spent far exceed simply buying them. So, is all this really worth it?

Designers Shouldn't Make Passive Compromises

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In the design industry, compromise is actually a neutral term. There are two kinds of compromises: active compromise and passive compromise.

So-called active compromise is when, after thorough communication, discussion, and even confrontation, you genuinely discover that the other person’s idea, creativity, or plan is better than yours. At this moment, you bravely and honestly say, “Hey, yours is better, I concede.” That’s active compromise. Active compromise is often difficult, especially when you compromise with your subordinate, a non-design professional, or even a user.

Christian Faith and Stock Investment

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Last night, I had a strange dream about a brother from Hangzhou who has stepped away from his faith. This morning, I reached out to him again, and we had a simple exchange.

Since we hadn’t talked in over a year, our conversation ranged wide, touching on faith, life, and work. I found out he’s into stocks now, and suddenly had the thought to discuss the relationship between stocks and Christian faith with him.

Feeling Sick

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve been sick twice in my life. The first time was in 2017 due to a sudden cold snap. It affected my tailbone, leaving me bedridden for three weeks. I couldn’t get up, couldn’t walk, just lying down. The second time is more severe, this one — probably triggered by pollen allergies, leading to allergic conjunctivitis. It’s lasted nearly two weeks now. My conjunctivitis hasn’t fully healed and keeps recurring.

Chatting About Safety Margin

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m a pretty cautious person, someone who really values safety. So when I read about the concept of “safety margin” in value investing, it was easy for me to grasp, I agreed with it, and I was willing to put it into practice.

Recently, with Trump’s “reciprocal tariff” policy, global stock markets have plummeted. My own U.S. stock account has seen its gains drop from 80% to about 45-47%. It’s been a rollercoaster.

Pop Music and Hymns

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

When I compare pop music—particularly Chinese pop music—to hymns, I find some interesting feelings and discoveries.

I first heard hymns in 2006. By around 2008 or 2009, my life began to gradually drift away from pop music. This wasn’t intentional; it was a very natural process. I suppose I’ll talk about the reasons for this.

Before that, I really liked listening to Chinese pop music. With my limited understanding, many would likely agree with this observation: most pop songs revolve around the theme of love, and a large portion are about failed love—breakups, pain, and memories.

My Son Anran

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

My son Anran is ten now. We moved our whole family to the United States when he was eight.

He’s an introverted, sensitive kid who cares about others. Very creative, great with his hands, often helping out with chores and thinking of the family. He’s got a lot of good qualities. He’s also pretty obedient, sometimes willingly, sometimes maybe just out of habit, like he feels he has no choice.

The Tension Between Faith and Design: Reflections on Being Tough

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Over the past year or so, I’ve found myself in a peculiar state, leading me to some self-reflection. In many areas, I’ve gradually realized, “I might not always be right.” It’s a process of breaking down my pride and self-image.

For instance, I used to believe I was a perfect and comprehensive dad, but my teenage daughter gave me a hard lesson, showing me my weakness and helplessness. Those parenting philosophies I once held dear often don’t work at all.

Why Fishing Captivates Me

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Fishing really captivates me. I’ll get up at 3 AM in minus seven-degree winter weather, pile on three down jackets, a sweater, three pairs of pants, and three pairs of socks, plus gloves and a hat. Then drive 40 kilometers to a remote state park by a lake, brace the biting wind and fish.

Why does fishing pull me in so strongly? Sometimes I think it’s more than a hobby, almost an idol in my heart. I need to seriously figure out why.

Pollen Allergy

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Someone who never had pollen allergies experienced it for the first time in Dallas. My eyes felt terrible—bloodshot, swollen, itchy, constantly tearing up. Sticky discharge glued my eyes shut, making it hard to open them. Anytime I managed to open my eyes for a while, I had to close them again to rest. Sometimes there was even a stinging sensation, which was really uncomfortable.

Because of this, I had to stop what I was doing and lie down to rest.

Reflecting on My Faith

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Since coming to the U.S. in August 2022, whether those first two years in Los Angeles or now in Dallas, my faith has been up and down, mostly low. Outwardly, everything seems fine; life seems to be on track. Maybe that’s why I feel faith isn’t that crucial, thinking it won’t really fall apart, so I’ve just let it slide.

In these two years, I haven’t stopped attending church. I still go every Sunday. But, honestly, I haven’t truly sought God with all my heart, nor have I gone all out to draw near to Him. As for serving God, I haven’t fulfilled my responsibilities or put in the effort I should have. I must confess this.

Opening Up

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m a bit of an introvert.

A few years ago, I was talking to an English tutor from London.

“You Westerners are very private and don’t easily engage in deep conversations, right?”

“That’s a stereotype. Actually, how deep you can get into a conversation with others isn’t about them, but about how open you’re willing to be.”

I was surprised by this answer.

In the past, I would share my annual thanksgiving list on my WeChat public account and blog. It counted as a sort of year-end summary. This year is a bit different. Besides my usual record and sharing, I prepared a carefully formatted graphic brochure for some close friends. Through this personal booklet, I hope to share my year with church brothers and sisters, family, friends, and former colleagues, and testify to God’s grace in my life and my family’s. I also hope it keeps me in deeper contact and communication with former friends, especially those in China.

2024 Gratitude List

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Thank God, we successfully moved from LA, California to Dallas, Texas, this August. In terms of distance, it’s like moving from Shanghai to Kunming. Looking back at the decision four months ago, I’m amazed at the courage and determination that sprang up. No hesitation, just certainty about moving. I know it was God’s guidance; like with many major decisions before, an unseen hand was leading us.
After deciding to move, between April 26 and May 29, we quickly checked out several U.S. cities (Tallahassee, Florida; Columbia, South Carolina; Charlotte, North Carolina; Dallas, Texas). Thank God for the churches and brothers and sisters in each city who took us in. Special thanks to brothers Tianfeng, Rick, Ashely, Lisa, and Lucas.
Moving was hard for our two older children. After two years in the U.S., just as things were settling down, their familiar environment, friends at school and church—they had to start all over again. My daughter spent a lot of effort preparing for high school, and moving meant doing it all again. I understand their complaints and resentment, but I’m powerless to help. Their breakdowns were mine too. All I could do was pray. Thank God, after moving, they adapted quickly, and I could see the change in their faces. My own stress and worries lifted completely.
Thank God for the care from the pastors and brothers and sisters of Rancho Cucamonga Covenant Church in Los Angeles. Once Eather asked us why so many people loved us. Yes, the love we received is far beyond what we deserve.
Thank God for keeping my wife and daughters safe and healthy on their trip back to China this July.
Thank God for leading us to a retreat in Malaysia in July, where we had wonderful fellowship and discussion with coworkers.
Thank God for a week in Malaysia with my parents and the kids spending time with their grandparents.
On returning from Malaysia to the U.S., we found a flight mistake. We needed a visa for a transfer between airlines in Taiwan, even with a U.S. green card. Thank God for keeping us calm, praying together, and rescheduling without panic.
Thank God, in August, Linda and Anran graduated smoothly from ALCS. May the Lord bless ALCS.
Thank God, for preserving me and Anran on our drive from LA to Dallas—about 2300 kilometers. We had lots of time for conversations, and I appreciate Anran’s help with car issues; not bad for a 9-year-old.
Thank God for preparing PCA schools for the two kids.
Thank God for the smooth buying and selling of houses. Thanks to Christian agent Annie in California and sister Zhang in Texas for their help.
Thank God for giving me a bit more courage this year to join school prayer meetings than in the past two years.
Thank God for leading us to TCC Church. The brothers and sisters here are lively and thriving. We’re still getting used to it, comparing it to our church in Shanghai in our hearts, though not aloud. May the Lord help us interact humbly with others and serve the church. May He also help our kids grow spiritually here.
Thankful for Yanbing, who loves me, helps me, accepts me, and looks after my needs (like allowing time for fishing). She’s caring for both our families too. Thank God for my wife.
Thank God for giving my daughter a diligent and disciplined spirit for learning and life. May the Lord teach her to pray and offload her burdens to Him.
Thank God for giving my son a heart that cares for family needs, often lending a hand. I also thank God for healing his eczema and making him healthier than before.
Thank God for Eather’s healthy growth and learning to walk. Her softness, innocence, and cuteness are our love’s reward as parents. Thank God for the joy and comfort she brings.
Thank God for my current job, income, and the chance to use my skills and interests. May the Lord help me stay God-fearing at work.
Thank God for providing all our family’s needs. Seventeen years ago, a child in a rural community in Hangzhou’s Gudang Bay, living in a less than 8-square-meter rental room, could hardly imagine today’s life. In that room, I often prayed Proverbs 30:7-9 over myself: “Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die: Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.” God is faithful, and His provisions far exceed my imagination and need. May the Lord help me worship Him alone and not money or anything else, and guide us in stewardship.
Thank God for giving me two interests here: carpentry and fishing. Yet, I have little self-control over them (and often wonder how to not dive deep into what I enjoy fully). Lord, help me.
Two years in America, the external life is good without want. But spiritually, it’s like a wilderness. Often far from God, drawn by the world, unable to control temper at home or focus at work. Yet I thank God for His protection—not straying from His path through church support (now and past), peers at work, and the Spirit’s promptings in my heart. I’m reminded to return to Him when I feel distant.
Over the past few years, conflicts with the kids have been more intense. After each clash, it takes me a while to recover, and even when I do, I gain little insight. Thanks to the Lord, by year’s end, there’s a shift—I’ve decided to learn how to be a dad to teenagers. I need to change, can’t cling to my own ways (basically those of my parents and others). The conflicts mainly come down to outdated views and unpreparedness in communication and interaction. This change in perspective ties to fishing—a delicious North American fish called “Crappie,” or Pi Pi in vernacular. Stubbornly using my old methods and gear yields nothing. Eventually, I had to watch and learn from experts around me. Reality check: no change, no fish. After one clash with the kids, it struck me—if I’m willing to learn for fishing, why not for the kids? Thank God! The relationship with them is challenging and frustrating now, but with God, there’s hope, no despair.
Thank God in 2024, our marriage saw many changes, primarily focusing on “lack of communication” in our relationship. At a June marital retreat, I described us to the group as “two employees.” We hustle daily, align plans, collaborate on every family task, but like office coworkers. The family’s running fine, but we’re like business partners. Thanks to Ake’s reminders, we’ve acknowledged this issue and even had a few needed arguments. Thank God for safeguarding us.

In a Low

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m in a low right now. Don’t know how to be a person, a husband, a father.

Tired, weary, confused, empty, chaotic. My body hurts too, eyes are dry, dealing with a sore throat and cold.

Self-pity.

I pray, but the prayers feel powerless. It’s like I’m talking to myself. Even if it seems like religious comfort (I’ve lowered my faith to this point), it’s all I can manage.

I’ve talked to Yanbing about how I feel, but people ultimately can’t fully understand or share each other’s burdens.

A $550 Email Win

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

A while back, when selling our house in California, we needed a termite inspection. The result showed that a wooden board on the eaves was rotting and needed replacement. The company doing the inspection quoted us $550.

This company was the same one that did the termite inspection when I bought the house two years ago. According to the contract, this rotten wood should’ve been discovered back then. After my agent talked with their customer service, their response was that they inspect more thoroughly when selling a house. And they insisted on not offering us a free or discounted service.

Design, Fishing, Woodworking

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Design is my profession; the other two are my hobbies. These three things have some similarities for me.

In first grade, other classmates had backpacks with multiple pockets. I envied them, but we couldn’t afford one. What we could afford was a small, single-layer book bag in army green. So, I used needle and thread to sew a compartment inside. This is the first design I remember creating.

In fifth or sixth grade, I’d heat sewing needles to bend them into fishhooks, use chicken feathers as bobbers, and cut bamboo for fishing rods. Naturally, my interest in fishing started young.

Moving to Dallas

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The other afternoon, in a half-asleep state, I wasn’t sure where I was — Shanghai, LA, or Changsha? It wasn’t until I jolted awake and cleared my head that I realized I was lying in our home in Dallas. (This is one of my most feared dreams.)

On August 8th this year, we moved from LA, where we had lived for two years, to Dallas. On the same day two years ago, we immigrated from Shanghai to the United States. (We didn’t deliberately pick this date; circumstances just pushed us to move that day.)

God's Pace

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, burdened and weary, I attended a Christian retreat just outside Los Angeles, in a forest surrounded by desert.

I only felt the weight on my body and soul, without thinking much about why. But as I stepped into an isolated environment, my heart slowly quieted, and I began to reflect.

It turns out, the pressure and burden were largely anxiety. My anxiety seems to break down into words: impatience, endless cycles of busyness, restlessness. My days are packed, as if without such planning, everything would fall apart; and yet, this cycle repeats. Even with all this, there are still so many things left undone. These “regrets” seem to become obstacles to “the right path.” With the kids, I worry about their health and faith, yet there’s little visible change or progress each day. I’m worried.

Stop Signs in America

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Someone asked me, what’s the most striking thing about life in America? I’d say: Stop Sign.

What’s a Stop Sign? It’s just a traffic sign where cars need to stop. The rules are simple:

Encounter a Stop Sign, you must stop (if you’re taking a driving test, the engine must be fully stopped for 2-3 seconds);
If it’s a one-way Stop Sign, it means only you have the Stop Sign, and you must wait until all other directions are clear before moving;
If it’s an All-way Stop Sign, meaning all corners have a Stop Sign, follow the first-come, first-go rule;

Let’s give some praise: The Stop Sign is truly a great invention!

On Design: Users Missed This Feature?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

When someone reports “users didn’t discover/find this feature,” PMs and designers often get anxious. For example: on the registration page, users didn’t notice the “register with phone number” option. Or, users didn’t see the bookmark or pin functions.

When facing feedback like this, I suggest designers not rush to take the fall. We have to separate things. On one hand, evaluate the design, conduct related research. On the other, which is what I want to talk about today, isn’t it normal for users not to quickly find or use certain features in some specific scenarios?

Five Years as a Total Newbie in U.S. Stock Investing

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Started dabbling in stock trading in 2019. It’s been five years, but I’m still a newbie. Time passing doesn’t mean gaining insight or experience if you don’t intentionally learn. I once read a joke: better to be a clueless newbie who makes money than an expert who knows what’s what but loses money. Of course, you should know a bit. So here’s my little newbie experience.

Basic Principles

Invest only surplus money, no more than a quarter of total assets. Even if you lose it all, it should only be disappointing, not devastating.

This one’s tough. If someone can’t stick to principles in other areas of life, there’s no point in expecting them to have principles in investing. Principles are often inflexible, rigid; that’s unfortunately (or conveniently) my personality—sometimes so rigid even my wife and kids complain.

Picking Up the Pen Again

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

It’s been a long time since I recorded anything. The last post was in 2023. Now, it’s already July 2024.

Life’s busy and messy—no mood to record anything. Life’s also ordinary, the daily trivialities and the ups and downs of emotions don’t seem worth recording.

Recently, while packing, I found a diary from ten years ago. Back then, I actually handwrote my diary. I flipped through a few pages and past events flashed in my mind again. But I didn’t want to read further. It’s like a bottle of wine that hasn’t fully fermented yet; now isn’t the time to read it, so I’ll keep it sealed.

Thankfulness in 2023

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

It’s become a tradition in our family to count and share our thankful items from the past year on Thanksgiving. One evening during that week, the whole family gathers to browse all the photos and videos on my iPhone from the past year, casting them on the TV screen. We each jot down moments or events that we’re grateful for. After two hours, each of us has accumulated twenty to thirty grateful items. Life is so busy, and our hearts often get filled with the world’s cares, making it easy to forget the grace we’ve experienced from God. We need this intentional reflection and counting. In the following days, we organize our grateful items. Finally, on Thanksgiving evening, after praise and prayer, we take turns standing up to read our list.

Picking Up Drawing Again

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I started learning the basics of drawing, sketching, and color in middle school and continued with three years of foundational training in high school. In college, I gradually shifted away from drawing and into design. Over the past twenty-plus years, I’ve continued to draw off and on. But I often find that my drawing, just like my design work, always stays on the surface and doesn’t go deep. My fundamentals aren’t solid, and I often skim over critical parts.

What Am I Supposed to Do?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

From being a college graduate in my twenties to now entering middle age, there’s been a persistent question that pops up from time to time, puzzling me, with no ideal answer ever found. That question is: What exactly should I be doing? (To put it more elegantly: What’s my dream? And in a Christian context: What’s God’s calling for me?)

My current environment and state of mind are quite different from those early years. Even though I’ve always had a streak of idealistic stubbornness and never forced myself to do things I didn’t want to do, now it seems I really want something “to settle down in.” Maybe I overemphasize this, perhaps unknowingly turning it into a bit of an idol. But I can’t deny that’s my current thought.

Rereading the Steve Jobs Biography

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Got the urge to reread the Steve Jobs biography after many years. Still moved by it.

Born Abandoned, A Life-Shaping Event

Looking back at my own life trajectory, two words, “poverty” and “inferiority”, have influenced me deeply. “Influence” means touching every part of life, right to the bone.

One striking point: the design concept behind the Apple products I use daily, like computers, phones (all those apps), tablets, and headphones, is related to Jobs’s experience of being abandoned at birth (though not the only factor). That experience made him extremely insecure, driven to control every aspect of life. So unlike the open nature of Windows and Android, Mac and iOS are closed systems with deeply integrated hardware and software. (Beyond his childhood abandonment, there’s also his perfectionism, especially the influence of his father, who taught him that even the unseen parts of products should be meticulously crafted.)

A Christian Designer's Diary: Participating in Liulishuo's Startup Journey, 2013-2019

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I joined Liulishuo on May 4, 2013 (though I started working with Liulishuo earlier, I chose this as my official start date) and left on May 4, 2019. Two days ago, it happened to be May 4, 2023, marking four years since I left Liulishuo.

Working at Liulishuo was valuable and special for me. While employed there, I faced many challenges, difficulties, struggles, and even pain. For example, in 2014-2015, I went home complaining to my wife saying, “I’m quitting tomorrow” dozens of times each year, only to go to work early the next day after a night of rest/prayer. After leaving, I had lots of memories and reluctance. In the two or three years after I quit, I often dreamed of going back to work at the company, attending meetings, chatting with Lao Wang/Ben, and so on.

Thoughts on the Busy Life

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

After moving to the U.S., life hasn’t slowed down or become as relaxed as I had hoped. It turns out to be almost as busy as it was in Shanghai—one thing after another. And everything I’m busy with is urgent and must be done, like filing taxes, car maintenance, updating addresses, and so on.

When will there be some downtime? I hoped for some peaceful and leisurely days after getting these urgent matters sorted out. Soon, I realized that hope was unrealistic. My life will probably stay busy, whether by choice or circumstance. Better not to expect a new, carefree state after checking off a list of tasks.

Things I'm Thankful for in 2022

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Thank God, my Savior. In 2022, the world is so turbulent. Different countries have their own sins and absurdities. If we only had this life, how hopeless would that be? The wicked run rampant, while the upright are suppressed. Evil isn’t punished, and justice seems impossible. But thank God, His kingdom is holy, righteous, perfect. That’s my hope.
Thank God for giving me strength in my heart, allowing me to pray. When I’m weak and in a valley, it’s hard to pray. But when I do, I’m renewed and strengthened. I know every time I turn back to God, it’s the Spirit working in me. But I also feel the importance of willingly turning to God: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength.’

Thoughts Triggered by My Green Card

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve been in the U.S. for 81 days.

As a new immigrant, everything begins from scratch. There’s a lot to deal with when settling in. Like opening a bank account or credit card, setting up water, electricity, gas, and garbage accounts, finding schools for the kids, getting health insurance, and taking the driving test, to name a few. Often, due to unfamiliar surroundings and language barriers, coupled with the need to adapt to American procedures, rules, and slow pace, I find myself overwhelmed with anxiety. This anxiety comes from the pressure and uncertainty of handling immediate tasks. It feels endless; as soon as one thing is solved, another pops up.

54 Days in America and Catching COVID: A Former Shanghainese's Experience

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve been infected with COVID for three days now. Too soon to say I’m fully recovered, but I’m not in obvious discomfort anymore. Slowly regaining my strength. This morning, I even felt motivated enough to clean up the fallen leaves in the yard. After I posted about my wife, Yanbing, catching COVID in our group chat, friends and family sent messages of concern and advice. They all worry, especially my parents.

Demolition of the Family Home

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

On September 13th, my younger brother sent a video to our family group chat showing that our ancestral home in the countryside had been demolished.

The demolition, which we’d talked about for over a decade, became reality just like that. Over the years, this topic often came up. We usually hoped for it. Demolition, ideally, meant a good payout in a short time, or an improved living environment, or just having more financial flexibility. But seeing our home of over thirty years with doors and windows knocked out, the roof taken off, debris and broken tiles scattered all over—I was deeply moved. I wondered if our home was truly gone. It’s even harder and heavier on my heart than I imagined.

Starting Life's Second Half in a New Time Zone

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Decided to fly to the U.S. on August 8th, over ten days earlier than planned. I noticed that the fourth day after arriving in the U.S. would be my 40th birthday. Back in the day, Moses was 40 when he moved to another country to start a new life (a friend’s comment to me).

I have to admit, this journey has been guided by the God I believe in, just like when He led me in 2006 to leave “my country and my people” and move from Changsha to Hangzhou, and in 2013 led my family to move from the city we lived in for seven years to Shanghai. After nine years in Shanghai, our family set out again to start life in Los Angeles.

Human Pride vs God's Glory

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m a person both insecure and proud. Years ago, when I first realized these seemingly opposite traits coexisted in me, I was amazed. At that time, I was already following Jesus. Upon further reflection, I saw that insecurity hid pride, and pride concealed insecurity. But at the core, it’s all pride.

“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18, NIV)

My heart is so full of pride, trying to showcase myself at every chance, to prove my ability and worth, seeking others’ recognition, admiration, and praise. This is the corruption and sin within me.

Book Review: 'The Power of Reading'

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Thankfully, both my kids, a 12-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old son, love to read. Sometimes they’re so absorbed in it that we have to limit their reading time to protect their eyesight.

Occasionally, friends ask me how I get my kids into reading. Their kids prefer video games and short videos. I say “occasionally” because most of my friends are Christians, and almost all their kids like to read.

A Brief Review of 'Qin System's Two Thousand Years'

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

A year ago, when I read the introduction to this book, I thought it was a book destined to be banned in China. So, I immediately ordered it for my collection.

Surprisingly, the book is still around. My unreliable guess is there are two reasons. First, the book hasn’t spread widely enough to attract attention. Second, the author is very restrained and knows where the boundaries lie. For example, the first sentence of the book: from Qin and Han to Ming and Qing, this is China’s ‘Qin system era’, or rather ‘Qin governance era’. Honestly, after finishing the book, the Qin system’s strategies, policies, and methods are something we can relate to today. So, the author’s quite restrained.

Talking About Lure Fishing

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Since I was a child, I’ve loved fishing. Like many of my other hobbies, I’m not skilled, nor do I strive to improve, but the interest hasn’t faded over time.

I always go for simple, straightforward, and practical things (even if they aren’t always cheap). I buy as little as possible and use as much as I can. In 2021, some friends started lure fishing, which caught my attention. That winter, with the pandemic and online classes in the background, we went back to my hometown in Changsha. During my free time, I tried lure fishing.

2021 Gratitude List

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Thank God for keeping my family and me safe during the pandemic.
Thank God for sustaining us to continue our regular family devotions.
Thank God for providing for all our family’s needs and leading us in remarkable ways.
Thank God for allowing the kids to continue their education despite the challenging environment.
Thank God for the teachers at school who support our children’s learning. Saying goodbye and chatting with R.Z. made me truly feel their piety and love. Their experiences greatly encouraged me and might even influence some of my future life decisions.

Foreign Pumpkin

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Outsiders

Since I was a kid, I looked down on outsiders too. In the corner of our village, there was a family that had moved from Anhui. Villagers spoke of them with that natural local superiority and disdain for outsiders. When this “outsider” family interacted with villagers, they were polite, cautious, and humble. Over twenty years later, this summer when talking with my parents in our Changsha hometown, this “Anhui family” is still referred to as “outsiders” by the villagers.

Talking About Learning English

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Shanghai recently removed English as a mandatory exam subject in elementary schools through its education policies. For parents who can think independently, this is actually a good thing. It forces us to seriously consider: Why should kids learn English? Or more bluntly, what’s the point of learning English?

I’ve studied English for over 20 years, and my English is still quite “rough,” yet I’m still interested in it. So, I thought I’d share what English means to me. Naturally, my views on learning English will also influence how I think about my own kids’ English education.

Changsha

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Changsha, my hometown, where I grew up, the starting point of my life. Yet for the past decade or so, I’ve been trying to escape it. When I was young, my parents said, study hard to escape the rural life and get a “state job.” After college, the best opportunities in design and the internet were in major cities. It seemed like leaving my hometown was what success meant. And going back to Changsha after years of struggling was an admission of failure. So even during Chinese New Year holidays in Changsha, I was filled with anxiety and restlessness, eager to get back to the city I worked in (first Hangzhou, now Shanghai), to find my sense of social security in the state of “actively working and living.”

Make the Best Use of Time, the Days Are Evil

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Make the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Ephesians 5:16-17 (NIV)

As a Christian, the current events around me—whether it’s the increasingly oppressive faith environment or the sensational and unjust case like ‘Chengdu No. 49 High School tragedy’—have subconsciously plunged me into a state of anger, disappointment, sorrow, panic, and confusion.

Five or six years ago, even though the world was filled with all sorts of lawlessness, injustice, absurdity, and tense moments, I felt at ease, perhaps because I was blissfully unaware of these things back then.

Building for Eternity

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Luke 14:28 (NIV)

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?”

Last night, seeing my friend, Yixiu Qin’s, new studio hit me — it’s expansive and intricate, like a private art museum and luxury hotel. And he still finds time for hobbies. Meanwhile, I feel busy with the kids’ education, family, faith (though honestly, not much time spent there). Truly, envy, jealousy, and hate. Mood not great.

A Shift in Perspective

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In the past, I always used my limited human understanding and feelings to judge the value of daily things, growth, and work. Life is so short, uncertain, and fleeting. Human abilities and actions seem hopeless in the face of death and insignificant in the face of eternity. Because of this, I would often fall into negative emotions, thinking everything was empty, meaningless, and worthless.

Looking back, so much time was spent in such wandering and sighing.

What Will You Get?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

“Are you seeking great things for yourself? Do not seek them. For I will bring disaster on all people, but wherever you go I will let you escape with your life.” This is what the Lord says. (Jeremiah 45:5, NIV)

Recently, I haven’t been feeling joyful or at peace.

Every day, when I open my eyes, I just want to grab and get all sorts of things. Some of these things I don’t even need, and for others, I don’t know why I feel like I must have them. Just going with the flow, I guess.

Decrease into His Purpose

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

He must become greater; I must become less. (John 3:30, NIV)

John’s disciples told him that more and more people were going to Jesus to be baptized. They worried that Jesus was taking their teacher’s popularity. But John, with joy, said, “He must become greater; I must become less,” because John knew his own place: “I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.”

Oswald Chambers said, “If you become indispensable to others, you have then gotten out of God’s line.” This is a good reminder to me.

The Master Assizes

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. (2 Corinthians 5:10, NIV)

When Christ comes again, He will judge me based on my actions in this life.

What will be the outcome of good or bad actions under Christ’s judgment?

For those who don’t accept Christ’s salvation (non-Christians), the result of judgment will be condemnation and eternal punishment.

Reading 'Weakness is the Way: Life with God'

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This is a short booklet by evangelical theologian J.I. Packer. Including the foreword, it’s only 100 pages. I’m not much of a reader and I read slowly. So this thin booklet is easy on the pressure. Reading is light, but the gain is rich.

Weakness, nothing could be more normal…

Counting from my baptism in 2008, I’ve been a believer for 13 years. Looking back, most of my faith journey has been filled with weakness, with moments of strength being rare.

Is He Really My Lord?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Mar 5, 2021 at 6:56 AM

我却不以性命为念，也不看为宝贵，只要行完我的路程，成就我从主耶稣所领受的职事，证明　神恩惠的福音。（使徒行传 20:24 和合本）
…so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus…

Oswald Chambers said, joy is completing my created and reborn purpose, not just successfully completing a task.

Sure, there is a joy, a sense of accomplishment, in “emulating God’s creative work” when completing a task successfully. But often, it’s about fulfilling personal desires, pride, and dignity. Who is the task for? What’s the motive?

The Mission That Won't Let Go

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Mar 3, 2021 at 6:43 AM

Jesus said, ‘Feed my sheep.’ (John 21:17, NIV)

Peter’s love for Jesus was refined through his total failure of denying Jesus three times before the rooster crowed. Before the Lord, he had nothing to boast about, no declarations to make, only a total denial of self. He was renewed.

Jesus asked Peter three times, ‘Do you love me?’ Three times, Peter told Jesus, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’ And Jesus said to Peter three times, ‘Feed my sheep.’

Have You Felt The Hurt of The Lord?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Mar 2, 2021 at 9:25 PM

“The third time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’” (John 21:17, NIV)

Peter was grieved because Jesus asked him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Originally, Peter was full of zeal and passion; he once declared before the Lord, “I am willing to die for you.” But soon, “before the rooster crows you will disown me three times” happened. It brutally, directly, and powerfully showed Peter his own weakness and inability, revealing that his love was so fickle and fleeting.

The Determination to Serve

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 23, 2021 at 7:46 AM

‘Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’ (Matthew 20:28, NIV)

Learning to serve like Jesus isn’t easy. It’s easy to get hurt by the very people you’re trying to serve. It can drain your passion and motivation.

Oswald Chambers said that Paul’s focus in service wasn’t on loving people, but on loving the Lord. If we dedicate ourselves only to making people happy, we’ll quickly end up heartbroken and backsliding, because people can be more ungrateful than dogs.

The Initiative Against Dreaming

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 20, 2021 at 6:27 AM

…起来，我们走吧！Arise, let us go hence.（约翰福音 14:31 和合本）

主耶稣，有时是「独自上山去祷告」的安静时刻，有时是「推到兑换银钱之人的桌子」「上耶路撒冷，受长老、祭司长、文士许多的苦，并且被杀，第三日复活」义无反顾、果断行动的时刻。

但不管是安静时的默想、祷告，还是「永不回头」的行动，耶稣都是在遵行天父的旨意。「父怎样吩咐我，我就怎样行。」

有一个想法，在付诸行动之前，安静在神面前祷告，寻求神的心意，这是正确的，也是应该的。

但是，当神透过圣经的话语，清楚的告诉我他的心意之后，我仍旧踌躇不前、犹犹豫豫、甚至反复再「求问/祷告」，那其实表示，我并不信任神。这个时候，再多的祷告，都是在伪装、逃避。

我有过很多「已经明白神的旨意，但仍旧逃避不行动、一直空想」的经历。

哥林多前书 9:16，「若不传福音，我便有祸了」。有感动要给一位朋友传福音，但一直犹豫没有行动，借口是，他还没有准备好，时机还没有到…

传道书 7:7，「贿赂能败坏人的慧心」。在考驾照时，已经明白了神的旨意是什么，但仍旧花了很长时间犹豫、挣扎要不要给教练塞红包。（最后还是没有贿赂）

玛拉基书 3:10，「万军之耶和华说：你们要将当纳的十分之一全然送入仓库，使我家有粮，以此试试我，是否为你们敞开天上的窗户，倾福与你们，甚至无处可容」。当我有一笔薪资之外的大额收入时，我犹豫了半年的时间：我已经有奉献了，不需要再额外奉献吧？现在不用遵守旧约的条例了，按着心意奉献一点，不用十分之一了吧？（因为十分之一的金额很多）教会能管理好这些钱吗？还是我自己保管吧…）

亚伯拉罕因着信，蒙召的时候就遵命出去，往将来要得为业的地方去；出去的时候，还不知往哪里去。（希伯来书 11:8 和合本）

听命、行动，没有犹豫、空想，这就是亚伯拉罕对神的相信、信靠。

反过来，看罗得的表现。

天明了，天使催逼罗得说：“起来！带着你的妻子和你在这里的两个女儿出去，免得你因这城里的罪恶同被剿灭。” 但罗得迟延不走。（创世记 19:15-16 和合本）

被神催逼了，神的旨意已经明确、清晰到何等程度，但罗得还是「延迟不走」，这就是罗得的不信。

「不停留在空想」的信心，也是一个成长的过程。纵然过去有失败的经历，求主在今天更新我，使我有信心去听道、行道。

感恩

感谢神，带领我昨天与WD团队一起讨论产品设计，达成了清晰的方案。很享受团队成员充分表达、竭力贡献各自观点、最终升华成共同结论的过程。在设计中，不管是产品设计，还是UX，我必须要承认，自己的眼界、思考，一定是有局限、不周全的。有时，也可能是考虑复杂、过度设计的。所以，这时，需要团队的帮助，需要其他的大脑，在同一个问题上，从不同的层面、视角给出反馈、提醒、补充。感谢神之处在于，在设计讨论之前，我将讨论的过程、结果，都向神祷告，也求神赐给我谦卑、开放的心。讨论持续近2小时，在几乎进入胶着、混沌之极，忽然从一位成员中冒出一个破局思路，全团队一起抓住这个机会，深入往前。一条明亮的小路瞬间就呈现在我们眼前。我要说，这是神所赐予我们的灵感。
感谢神，带领我们教会十多个家庭一起学习《子女心、父母情》。管教孩子时，我们容易关注、纠正孩子的行为，而忽略行为背后孩子的心，忽略从孩子的心，去帮助孩子。
感谢神带领我们晚上 7:00 的家庭敬拜。我们一起读我早上灵修的经文，然后我将早上的灵修感动，结合孩子能理解的、发生在我们家人身上的事例，分享给妻子、孩子。

The Power to Tackle Drudgery

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The Power to Tackle Drudgery

February 19, 2021 at 6:49 AM

‘Arise, shine!’ (Isaiah 60:1, NIV)

Thank God for His mercy and grace. Through Jesus Christ, I’m someone who has stepped out of darkness and walks in light. God’s redemption saves me from sin and death, changing my status from sinner to righteous. God’s glorious light has changed my life and continues to do so.

I’ve received God’s grace, and it’s only right to glorify Him in my life.

The Initiative Against Despair

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 18, 2021 at 6:38 AM

Get up! Let us go. (Matthew 26:46, NIV)

Jesus was about to suffer. His closest disciples were supposed to stay alert in spirit and body at this crucial and sacred moment, praying with Him. But they fell asleep from exhaustion.

If I had been among the disciples, I imagine I’d spend my entire life feeling deep regret, despair, and being unforgivable for “falling asleep in Gethsemane.”

Has Your Imagination of God Dwindled?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 10, 2021 at 6:52 AM

Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. (Isaiah 40:26, NIV)

I am created by God. My body and soul are created and gifted by God. Of course, that includes my imagination.

Is Your Spirit Exhausted?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 9, 2021 at 6:22 AM

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.” (Isaiah 40:28, NIV)

Oswald Chambers says that exhaustion means our life’s vitality is depleted. Spiritual exhaustion doesn’t come from sin but from service.

I often feel exhausted. Even though it seems like I’m not involved in any “service,” when I think about it, maintaining my marriage with Yanbing, raising and guiding our kids, my design work, playing piano at church—all these are my service. In these, I often feel my love, passion, spirit, and strength are drained.

Are You Ready to Pour Yourself Out for Others?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 5, 2021 at 6:52 AM

‘I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.’ (Philippians 2:17, NIV)

The Apostle Paul was willing to pour out his life as a drink offering to build others’ faith. And he did this with joy. He didn’t feel sacrificed, nor did he feel wronged or self-satisfied for giving himself.

Looking back, I’ve helped some brothers and sisters, investing time and money in their faith, growth, and family relationships. It started well, but I couldn’t sustain it; things eventually fizzled out.

Seen as the Scum of the Earth

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 3, 2021 at 6:17 AM

When we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment, we have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world. (1 Corinthians 4:13, NIV)

In Paul’s time, Christians were seen as garbage—worthless, despised by the world.

Strangely enough, I’ve never thought of “Christian” as synonymous with garbage. Quite the opposite. I’m proud to be a Christian and proud of the civilization built on Christian values. I often recount to family and friends the positive changes Christianity has brought to the world. Consider the changes it brought to modern China: many of the top universities and best hospitals were first established by missionaries and Christians. (Though, in the end, I find myself lamenting: times have changed, and things have been taken over.)

The Urgency of the Call

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 2, 2021 at 6:26 AM

‘I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!’ (1 Corinthians 9:16, NIV)

I’ve always avoided sharing the gospel.

Just now during prayer, I was still wondering: is Paul’s calling my calling too?

In today’s reading, Oswald Chambers mentions, ‘The Lord did not establish the conditions for becoming a disciple as the conditions for salvation.’ (Not sure if this statement is correct) My sly heart thinks, I’m saved and that’s enough, no need to be a disciple. Being a disciple is too costly.

God's Calling

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Feb 1, 2021 at 6:22 AM

‘For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel—not with wisdom and eloquence, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power.’ (1 Corinthians 1:17, NIV)

I’ve spent too much time on my personal ‘salvation and sanctification,’ especially the ‘sanctification’ part (becoming like Christ’s holiness). It’s clear that personal salvation and sanctification are basic and important. However, they’re not the purpose or mission of life. Salvation and sanctification seem to be about renewal, equipping oneself, becoming a ‘useful vessel’ for the purpose of glorifying God, exalting Christ, and making disciples of all nations.

My Unbelievable Ignorance

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 29, 2021 at 6:30 AM

I said, “Who are you, Lord?” The Lord replied, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting.” (Acts 26:15, NIV)

A lot of people ask me why I left my previous job at Liulishuo. Why choose my current lifestyle and work (work style)? Each time, I try to answer honestly and share the main reasons behind my decisions.

Even though I deeply contemplated these major decisions, considering them as thoroughly as I could, I’m still limited by my ignorance of the future and my own foolishness. When I revisit those reasons, I realize they’re incomplete and quite superficial.

It's Unbelievable How I Persecute Jesus

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’ (Acts 9:4, NIV)

Sometimes I feel that faith, belief, and obedience to God are very real and practical. When I have conflicts or unpleasant moments with others, can I willingly forgive them? (Most of the time, the mistake is actually mine.) By myself, forgiveness is impossible. Even though I know “do not let the sun go down on your anger.” It’s just too hard.

Be anxious for nothing

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 27, 2021 at 6:24 AM

所以我告诉你们，不要为生命忧虑吃什么，喝什么；为身体忧虑穿什么。生命不胜于饮食吗？身体不胜于衣裳吗？ (马太福音6:25 和合本)

故吾語爾、毋庸岌岌於何食何飲以養生、何衣以蔽體。夫生不貴於食、體不貴於衣乎？ (馬太福音6:25 吳經熊譯本)

现在，我在为哪些事情忧虑呢？

为自己的身体健康忧虑。如今，癌症、肿瘤这样的绝症，早已是平常事。身边好几个朋友经历过或正在绝症之中，也曾眼见几位朋友的离世。心底一直绷着一根弦，哪天这种厄运就临到我？同样，也担心厄运临到妻子、孩子、父母…

为钱财忧虑。不是因为缺乏忧虑，因为并不缺乏，主所赐的已经够用。而是忧虑，如何赚取更多。

为孩子的教育忧虑。所选择的，是一条特别的、有风险的路，随时会中断、变化。他们真的有所学，有所长吗？未来，他们能有足够的能力自立吗？

为孩子的信仰忧虑。其实，每次静下来思考这方面的忧虑，就会引发另一个思考：为什么希望孩子认识基督，要帮助孩子认识基督？我看到、想到的原因有这些：一，圣经的的教导（甚至是律法的要求，因为失去爱）；二，基督徒圈子的习惯与风气（周围的基督徒家庭都是这么做的）；三，对孩子道德层面的约束。信了基督，孩子会乖一点，长大了不会走偏。这些显然是表面的，甚至是不正确的。

我想，对孩子信仰的正确认识，根本还是取决于父母个人与神的关系。作为爸爸，我自己经历到神了吗？我是否看重耶稣的救恩，并因救恩欢欣呢？只是将「风闻有你」传递给孩子，显然是不够的，无力的；需要「亲眼看见你」。

也为孩子的身体健康忧虑。儿子手上的湿疹，从小时候到现在都没有康复。女儿的眼睛，时不时也会过敏。

为父母还不认识神忧虑。年岁已高，时间真的是紧迫。曾经有多次给他们讲述福音，但没有效果。在我看来，他们一辈子形成的观念（似乎已经漠视死亡）、他们的理解力，成为接受福音巨大的障碍。

为现在的工作忧虑。我真是复杂。一方面是一种可耻的「不重视、不紧迫」心态。因为，不用担心被「解雇」，失去了工作还能生活。另一方面，又十分的重视手头的工作，期望设计想法、工作成果被他人认可。因此，有这样复杂的忧虑。

我想，在工作中，我的心是不洁净的，不是「手洁心清」。没有把工作看为是「为主而做」，仍在在高举自己、彰显自己的「荣耀」。

为新冠疫情忧虑。疫情什么时候会过去呢？似乎，不会完全的恢复了。所忧虑的，是生活的不变；更忧虑的，是疫情限制下的生活乏味。原本，有那么多美好、快乐的地方可以去游玩、享受。

使徒保罗劝导我「应当一无挂虑，只要凡事藉着祷告、祈求，和感谢，将你们所要的告诉　神。神所赐出人意外的平安，必在基督耶稣里保守你们的心怀意念。」

求主保守我，今天「一无挂虑」，凡事祷告、祈求、感谢。不要为明天忧虑，一天的难处，一天担就够了。

感恩：

WD 目前的项目设计上，有进展。感谢神。昨天，我带着依靠神，将设计想法交给神的心情去工作，感觉很轻松；
经过一晚的休息，身体（颈椎）有恢复舒缓。白天，工作上真的要节制，安排好休息的时间；
感谢神保守。妈妈和我聊天时，她心情不错；

Look Again and Consecrate

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 26, 2021 at 6:09 AM

30 ‘If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?’ (Matthew 6:30, NIV)

‘If God’s providence adorns the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, how much more will He care for you? Alas, how meager your faith!’ (Wu Jinxiong Literary Translation)

Leave Room for God

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 25, 2021 at 6:21 AM

15 But when God, who set me apart from my mother’s womb and called me by his grace, was pleased 16 to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any human being. (Galatians 1:15-16, NIV)

Oswald Chambers says, focus on Jesus himself and hope for his coming, not expecting him to arrive on our terms — that’s how to “leave room for God.”

Transformed by Beholding

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 23, 2021 at 6:32 AM

‘And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.’ (2 Corinthians 3:18, NIV)

‘We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.’ (Revised Chinese Union Version)

What Am I Looking Up To?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 22, 2021 at 6:26 AM

“Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other.” (Isaiah 45:22, NIV)

“Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.” (Isaiah 45:22, KJV)

Salvation is really that simple: just look to God. It doesn’t require any action (no need for ascetic practices), just a change of heart.

What Does God Remember?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 21, 2021 at 6:11 AM

‘Go and proclaim in the hearing of Jerusalem: “This is what the Lord says: ‘I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the wilderness, through a land not sown.’”’ (Jeremiah 2:2, NIV)

‘Tell the people of Jerusalem, “The Lord says, I remember how eager you were to please me as a young bride long ago, how you loved me and followed me even through the barren wilderness.”’ (Jeremiah 2:2, NLT Revised)

Are You Fresh for Everything?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 20, 2021 at 6:03 AM

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” (John 3:3, NIV)

Obeying God lets me live in His light (corrects my inside and outside), but it doesn’t bring a lively life. Only being led by the Holy Spirit can produce love for God. Only then can I listen to God’s words and follow them willingly. That’s when life becomes fresh.

Darkness and Vision

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 19, 2021 at 5:59 AM
When the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him. (Genesis 15:12, NIV)

As for the “thick and dreadful darkness,” I’m not quite sure what it means. There isn’t a clear scripture explaining where this darkness came from or its purpose.

Following Brother Oswald Chambers’ interpretation, in the thick darkness, what saints should do is listen to God, wait for God. Not rely on their own “torch” to do things, sometimes even “do things for God.” Genesis 16 is indeed a contrast: “not listening to or waiting for God, turning to rely on human cleverness and advice to act” (Abram listened to Sarai and took Hagar, which led to the birth of Ishmael).

It's the Lord!

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 18, 2021 at 5:58 AM
Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28)

Jesus said, “Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” I’ve already drunk from “the water Jesus gives,” and I should be like the transformed Samaritan woman, “leaving her water jar, going back to the town and saying to the people” (giving testimony).

Do You Walk in White?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 15, 2021 at 6:04 AM

Therefore we were buried with him through baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. (Romans 6:4, NIV)

Before believing in Jesus, I lived by my own rules. It seemed like I was in charge of everything.

After believing in Jesus, I began to understand, to some extent, phrases like “baptized into his death,” “take up your cross and follow me,” and “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” These words from God showed me that I must hand over the lordship of my life to Jesus (which, in essence, I never truly possessed or controlled).

Called by God

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 14, 2021 at 5:58 AM

‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’ (Isaiah 6:8)

God’s calling has been a profound focus for me since becoming a Christian. As I’ve aged, it’s been on my mind more and more. I even tend to the extreme belief that God has designated a unique mission for me (and for everyone) — a special task. One day, I’ll receive that call.

Have You Ever Been Alone with God? (Part 2)

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

January 13, 2021 at 6:01 AM

When he was alone, the Twelve and the others around him asked him about the parables. (Mark 4:10, NIV)

Oswald Chambers said that God, through various circumstances, brings us into solitude to deal with our inner selves.

When I’m caught up in things, I feel like the “thing” itself is so important that it becomes “a big deal.” Consequently, I’m filled with hesitation. But no matter how complex things are, they are actually simple. In the end, it’s about weighing the pros and cons. Even my 11-year-old daughter can make such judgments.

Have You Ever Been Alone with God?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 12, 2021 at 6:07 AM

He did not say anything to them without using a parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained everything. (Mark 4:34, NIV)

Even though I’m practically in seclusion now, there’s still a lot of people and things constantly influencing my mood and state of life. But, as Oswald Chambers said this morning, “Others’ lives are just parables; God wants us to reflect on our own.” My life can only be renewed and changed by coming alone before God.

Obeying God May Cost Others

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 11, 2021 at 6:10 AM

‘As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.’ (Luke 23:26)

Recently, our family faced a tough decision. Last night, we even had a discussion about it (the kids joined in too).

Obeying God sometimes harms others’ interests. Like when you follow Jesus against family objections, risking family relationships (often threatened by cutting ties); like honestly reporting taxes, even if it raises company costs.

Seeking God's Reflection

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 9, 2021 at 7:57 AM

May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Thessalonians 5:23)

Woke up early and realized something. Yesterday was Friday. I let my guard down, intended to sleep by 10:30 PM but ended up watching a martial arts movie until midnight, which has always been my entertainment preference. This morning, when the alarm rang at 5:30, still half asleep, I casually told myself: today is Saturday; let’s get up later. So when I finally woke up, it was already 7:30.

Is My Sacrifice Alive?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 8, 2021 at 6:06 AM

They arrived at the place God had told him about; Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. (Genesis 22:9, NIV)

Although Oswald Chambers says at the beginning, “This event (Abraham sacrificing Isaac) reflects our mistake of thinking that God’s ultimate demand is for a dead sacrifice,” I believe Abraham’s understanding of God’s requirement was not mistaken. God asked him to offer Isaac as a burnt offering, and he followed through completely.

Intimacy with Jesus

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 7, 2021 at 7:14 AM
“Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time?” (John 14:9)

Jesus said this to guide Philip. Before this, Jesus said, “If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” Philip then asked, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”

Worship

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Jan 6, 2021 at 9:33 AM

From there he went on toward the hills east of Bethel and pitched his tent, with Bethel on the west and Ai on the east. There he built an altar to the Lord. (Genesis 12:8)

Oswald Chambers says worship is giving God your best (whatever you treasure most, handle with care). What I consider my best, my treasures, aren’t really mine—they’re from God. What do I value most right now? My time (life), professional skills, money, children—just a few things that come to mind. I can’t offer any of these with true worship in my heart, laying them completely before the Lord. I view these as precious, as mine to earn or as my natural right. I know very well I’m not their master, yet stubbornly, rebelliously, and foolishly try to manage and control them. Thank God, in the past six months, my heart has softened a bit; I’m willing to follow Jesus, willing to return God’s gifts one small step at a time, like a clueless child. Lord, grant me the faith to fully offer up and worship completely.

The Power of Life That Came Later

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later. (John 13:36)

Every Christian has had a unique moment when they were drawn to Jesus (or His church), and led back home to the Lord. That first encounter with Jesus can be quite surface-level, but it’s also very important. The first time I went to church, it was because someone invited me to sing and eat on a Sunday. I mistakenly thought it was karaoke and a meal. Once there, I was deeply drawn by the hymns and the love between brothers and sisters.

On Kids Learning to Draw

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

A few years ago, my family and I were at a buffet restaurant in Sanya. It wasn’t upscale, but they had a girl playing the piano in the center. Despite the music filling the air, the handful of diners there were too busy enjoying their food to really appreciate it.

Seeing this, I felt a bit sad and couldn’t help but wonder: How much can the pianist make? Does she find joy in her music? Or is she just playing to make a living? It makes me think deeper: What’s the value of art? Is music just something to fill the dining atmosphere, and are paintings just decor for bare walls in restrooms?

Buying Stocks Means Buying Companies

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Continuing with Li Lu’s Value Investing and China.

One of the four core principles of value investing is that buying stocks means buying companies. This is a principle Buffett has always adhered to, originally proposed by his teacher, Graham.

When I first encountered this idea, I got it, and agreed with it. I had some direct experiences. Back in 2013, I chose to join the newly formed Liulishuo team at half salary because I saw it as investing in Liulishuo. And while working there, I mostly (honestly, sometimes I’d drift off) approached people and things like an “owner” of the company.

Interviewing My Parents

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In the last week of October, I went back to Changsha on my own and stayed with my parents for a week.

Compared to my younger brother, I’m really calm and distant with my parents, always keeping a deliberate boundary and distance. I even call it “independence” with a bit of pride — financial independence, intellectual independence, family management independence. I often cite Genesis 2:24, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh,” to show the orthodox and faultlessness of my beliefs and actions.

Reading 'Value Investing and China' - Part 1

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, my friend and former colleague Forrest recommended the book by Li Lu.

Who is Li Lu? He’s the founder of Himalaya Capital, the primary manager of Charlie Munger’s family assets, and has been called ’the Buffett of China’ by Charlie Munger himself. He translated and published the Chinese version of Poor Charlie’s Almanack.

First, I’ll make a bold prediction: this book will probably be banned soon. Diving deep into economics, the system, and politics is unavoidable. Personally, I think Mr. Li discusses these topics objectively and sincerely. But in our vast country, ’truth’ often has no place. As the book gets read and spread more, it’s very likely to be banned. So, if you’re interested in value investing, grab a copy quickly.

Zhou and Sha

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In the summer of 2006, a year after starting work, I moved alone to Hangzhou. That autumn, I accepted a friend’s invitation to “sing and eat together on Sundays,” and unexpectedly found myself stepping into a Christian church.

It was then that I met Zhou and Sha.

Now, when I see young newcomers who have just started their careers, especially the young brothers in church, I always feel a sense of care towards them. I see my 2006 self in them: full of ideals, energy, passion, and also a bit naive, confused, and clueless. I also often think back to the first Christian couple I met in my youth — Zhou and Sha — and the impact and help they gave me.

A Two-Day Cold War With My 10-Year-Old Daughter

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The Reason

Around 5 PM last Wednesday, my wife called to say she had picked up the kids from school and they were downstairs. I told her I’d come down to get some exercise with Linda for half an hour, then we’d head home for homework.

Why did I think Linda needed to use some time for exercise? Her studies are intense; her body needs adjustment and rest. The night before, she wrestled with a math problem until past ten. I set aside my work, grabbed Linda’s jump rope, and went downstairs enthusiastically.

An Experience of Being Blackmailed by a Hacker

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

On February 20, 2019, I received an email that was “sent by myself.” That is to say, both the sender and recipient were my work email at Liulishuo, diff@liulishuo.com (so, couldn’t see the email origin). After a quick glance, the initial judgment was: someone is blackmailing me.

The email’s gist was:

Your email has been hacked. Changing the password is useless; the account is fully controlled.
You’ve been browsing pornographic videos online, and it’s been recorded. On one hand, they’ve recorded the content you browsed, and on the other hand, through controlling the front camera, they’ve captured who you are as well as your emotions and behaviors while watching.
Pay $1,000 in Bitcoin to “keep quiet” and avoid disaster.
If you don’t pay within 48 hours, the recorded video of you browsing porn will be sent to all your email contacts—colleagues, family, and friends.

After receiving this email, how did I feel?

If Parents Applied the Same Tough Standards to Themselves as They Do to Their Kids...

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

We have two kids at home. Our daughter is ten, and our son is five. As a dad, I’ve been pretty involved in their education and discipline.

Having been on the front lines of this “job” for a while now, I’ve started to observe and ponder: Kids have it really tough. As parents, could we actually meet the standards we set for them?

Honestly, I can’t.

Some of these expectations are about learning abilities. For example:

Should Young People Learn About Investing? Musings of a Novice

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

First, a disclaimer: I’m currently a growing greenhorn in investing. That said, maybe even a greenhorn can share some thoughts on finance and investing.

In 2007, I had been in the workforce for 2 years. For a while, two programmer friends I was close with were talking about the funds they bought. I listened. After a while, they seemed to reach a consensus: funds carry high risks, and if you’re not careful, you can lose a lot. I listened, and internalized one idea: don’t touch funds.

Starting a Design Studio: What You Need to Know

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

这是我翻译的一篇文章。

**几乎所有的真正爱设计的设计师，都有开设一个设计工作室的梦想或者念头。**去年，当我准备开始设计工作室的时候，我在网络上搜索先行者们的经验分享。其中，So, You’re Starting a Design Studio?这篇文章，从动机、实操、注意事项等方面，给出了简明扼要的建议。有些建议，想必会让设计师们会心一笑。比如：前期不用太关心工作室网站。（估计很多设计师做工作室的第一步，就是设计名片和网站吧？）

文章的作者是 Eric Karjaluoto，他和朋友 20 年前开始运作设计工作室 smashLAB。征得 Eric 的同意后，我将文章翻译成中文，并且，在 Eric 每条建议下面，聊了聊我的一些感受。分享给每个抱有做一个设计工作的朋友们。我翻译拙劣，英文可以的设计师，建议直接阅读原文：So, You’re Starting a Design Studio?

嗯，你要开一个设计工作室吗？

So, You’re Starting a Design Studio? – Eric Karjaluoto

有一天，一家新设计工作室内的老板向我寻求一些建议。我分享了一些想法，关于过去 17 年在运作 smashLAB 中哪些是凑效的、哪些是无用的。后来，我意识到，这些信息对于其他的人或许也是有用的。所以，我对谈话的要点进行梳理，发表了这篇博文。
这里是我的一些建议，当你开始启动一个设计公司时，供你参考。当然，每个人都会有不同的观点，以下是我尽我所能的给出的最好建议：

01. 弄清楚你想成为什么样的人？

设计代理公司（design agency)与设计工作室 (design studio) 看起来很相似，但实际上有很大的不同。在你从这两者中做选择之前，问问你自己想如何度过你的一天。**设计代理公司，会要求你专注于销售与管理。如果你更喜欢动手做设计，设计工作室可能更适合你。**另外，你可能想开发自己的产品。这些都是不错的追求。总之，选择一个适合你个性的方向很重要，不要做让自己后悔的决定。

Diff 随感：对我而言，更倾向于工作室模式。想动手做具体设计，因为，有乐趣。

02. 积累一些现金流（开源）

从找一份稳定的活开始。最简单的方式之一，就是成为某个人的兼职设计师（具体做法可以看我这篇文章：How We Fixed Our Studio’s Cash-Flow Problem – Eric Karjaluoto 。这么做，压力相对比较小。事实上，如果你要从一份正式的工作离开，你可以考虑向这家公司提议兼职的设计服务。这样的方式进行过渡，会轻松一些。一旦你有了收入进来，你会感觉轻松些，并且，你的工作室也会更稳定。

Diff 随感：理性一点，别说辞就辞。未来，如果你想做设计工作室，那就从现在开始积累资本、资源，去认识不同行业的人。别总宅着做设计。

03. 保持低开销（节流）

减少经济压力最简单的方法，不是赚得更多，而是更少的花钱。**不要租办公室，这既费钱，又没有必要。**在家工作，可以节省房租、通勤、家具等其他费用。更重要的是，除非绝对有必要，否则千万不要雇人。你会发现，薪资开销让你破产的速度，会超过你的想象。相反，去找到合适的人一起合伙、合作。这样的方式，更有趣，更好管理，并且，对你来说更灵活。

Diff 随感：或许，你开的第一个公司/设计工作室，就是为了玩票、为了找到一种身份感、新鲜感。但还是务实点。节约不是坏事。况且，如果你的工作室地理位置、装修不是足够的好，根本没有必要和客户提及。

04. 购买好的工具（就买一次）

当你开始一项设计业务时，你其实不需要很多东西。也就是说，真正的必需品只有几件（比如：椅子、电脑、桌子）有些东西，比如说桌子，你可以买个便宜的。但是，在某些方面，我建议你多花点钱。一把基本款的 Aeron 椅子，对于长时间工作来说，非常好用；并且，它很保值。同样的，一台好的笔记本电脑可以让你随时随地的工作。这些物品，你不需要购买顶级的，但是，我想你绝不会后悔买了实用称心的工具。

Remembering Principal Yang Dongfu

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Painting “Principal Yang.” Principal Yang, Maomao’s hand, thermos, Gorky’s Seagull

A few days ago for Teacher’s Day, amid all the “Thank you, teachers” messages, I thought of my middle school principal, Mr. Yang Dongfu.

My middle school, Jiaotang Middle School, was about three kilometers from home. Seven or eight years ago, it was demolished and is now part of the runway at Changsha Huanghua International Airport. Physically, the school has been erased, and I can’t revisit it. When I think back, I have to piece together scenes in my mind of people and events.

Survival Guide for Moms: How to Avoid Morning Madness When the Kids Go to School

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

For moms, after the kids head to school, there are countless headaches to deal with. But if there’s one thing that’s truly “chaotic,” it has to be getting the kids ready for school in the morning.

From waking up the kids, getting them dressed, washing up, eating breakfast, packing bags, and heading out the door — all these tasks must be completed in the short span of 30 to 40 minutes every morning.

On Children's Education: Mission, Passion, Knowledge

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Mission—this word was awakened in me a bit at the end of summer 2020. This stemmed from attending an all-day missionary training course spanning four Saturdays. It was an introductory course on Christian missions.

In early September, I began reading Excellent Sheep. About a year ago, my kids’ principal, Ms. C, highly recommended it at a parent meeting. After buying the book, it sat on the shelf for quite a while (adult attention spans really are scattered 😄). When I picked it up again, I noticed the pages had yellowed.

My Blog's New Name: Diff's Sojourner's Diary

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday, I was invited to give a design talk to the UED team at Ximalaya. The theme was: A Middle-Aged Retired Designer’s Reflections on Career Choices and Dilemmas. It was my first time speaking publicly about my thoughts on the harsh, anxiety-inducing topic of “career planning after 35” in the internet industry. I hope some of my ideas can give young designers a bit of inspiration and caution.

Even if I didn’t bring an atmosphere of anxiety, discussing this topic inevitably leads to it. The reality facing internet professionals is truly harsh. You graduate at 23 or 24, and by 35, you’re facing a midlife crisis. The golden years of a career last only 10-15 years, and that includes 3-5 years of initial growth, adaptation, and positioning.

4th Grade Parent-Teacher Meeting with Linda

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday (July 3, 2020), Yanbing and I attended Linda’s end-of-year one-on-one parent-teacher meeting. We spent nearly an hour talking with her teacher, Ms. F.

First, we discussed her grades. The report was thorough. Vertically organized by subject and horizontally by homework, quizzes, comprehensive assessments, final exams, and an overall score based on these four items. While most parents focus on final exam scores (and honestly, that’s the first thing I noticed too), the other areas aren’t to be ignored. For instance, homework scores can show how diligent a kid is throughout the term.

How an Angry Youth Survives

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In 2002, as a sophomore in college, I started following current events and politics in China and abroad through the internet. Back then, China’s internet was open and free, allowing access to various viewpoints and perspectives.

I felt that information’s impact on people was balanced during that time because all voices were relatively equally presented. An adult willing to expose themselves to diverse information could make some independent judgments—not swayed by the prevailing narratives.

What to Do If Your Child Gets Lost in the Subway? Our Scary Experience

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Sunday morning, around 7:30, we headed out to church on the subway, feeling light and cheerful.

At Sanlin East Station, we took the escalator down to the platform. I was in front, with my wife and two kids about ten steps behind. The train had already arrived, doors open. So I hurried up, saying “Quick, the subway’s here.” Just seconds after stepping inside, the warning beeps “ding~~ding~~ding” sounded. My wife, holding our five-year-old son’s hand, rushed in right behind. But our 10-year-old daughter, just a step behind them, saw the doors closing. I tried (dangerous, but for the kids, I didn’t care) to hold the doors open a bit longer, but she was a bit scared and didn’t dare come in. The doors shut. Just like that, our daughter was separated from us.

Reading Notes: Boss, No One's Buying This Design!

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Before this, I’d seen a couple of friends here and there recommend this book. “Boss, No One Buys This Kind of Design” had an interesting title that stuck with me. Around March or April, I saw my friend Dapeng (the boss at Xiaoxiang Hanzi) post about this book again, so I ordered it right then.

I read slowly. Maybe it’s because I don’t read much, so my reading skills and efficiency are pretty low. For long or complex sentences, I need to read them several times to make sense of them. Also, I like to think a bit, try to figure out what the author means behind the words, and how the words relate to me (this is heavily influenced by reading the Bible, since reading the Bible is about thinking of its relationship to oneself).

Musings from 2020.07.18

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Everyone tries to be healthier, have more knowledge, and live in better conditions themselves and for their children. We spend a lot of time on fitness, diet, and study. Today was my first visit to the Sanlin Sports Center near my house. I saw many middle-aged and elderly people exercising, and many parents taking their kids to swim, practice taekwondo, play badminton, and fence.

Taking care of our bodies isn’t wrong, but there’s a deep emptiness I feel: no matter how healthy or long-lived we are, if we don’t understand the meaning of life, don’t know our Creator, and aren’t freed from sin, it’s still a great pity. The same goes for knowledge and wealth. Conversely, even if someone isn’t as healthy or dies young, knowing God is a tremendous blessing.

Bought an Expensive Ergonomic Chair: Herman Miller Aeron

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Since I have to do design and writing at home for extended periods, I considered getting an ergonomic chair. Hopefully, this chair will last at least 10 years.

The chair I sit on now is an IKEA chair I bought for my daughter, 300 RMB. It’s a chair you can sit on, but not comfortable. At the company, I’ve sat on chairs that cost three to four thousand RMB, which felt okay, not particularly uncomfortable or particularly comfortable.

On Design Decisions – A Note to My Boss

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In 2007, in Hangzhou, at the startup company Popcorn Video.

In a company or team, when there’s a disagreement in design decisions, who gets the final say? I’m sure every designer has encountered this problem, maybe even been troubled by it.

The first time I deeply encountered this problem was when I designed a graduation poster for my university. The teacher in charge of the exhibition stood behind me and told me how to modify it. I hovered my fingers above the keyboard for two or three minutes in silence and then said, “I can’t do this design. You should find someone else” (from this, you can roughly see my youthful defiance and the hardness beneath my soft appearance at the time).

My Journey with Liulishuo: Insights from Employee #7 and Former Design Director

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

On May 4, 2020, it was exactly a year since I left Liulishuo.

For some, Liulishuo is just a job. But for me, it’s a profound journey that changed my life and shaped my character and personality. I joined Liulishuo as the 7th employee in 2013 and worked there for six years, from the early days in a rented apartment to the Nasdaq IPO. I consider this experience something of a legend for an idealist like me, and some stories from it are worth sharing.

Middle-Aged Design Director's Struggles: Keep Up the Practice

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

A friend suggested that the title shouldn’t be too plain. This time, I’ve really gone for a clickbait title.

I love creating with graphics and colors, but at different stages, I’ve always felt my understanding of these two areas is lacking. So, I need practice intermittently. Here’s some recent practice in this area.

One piece a day. It goes pretty fast. After dinner or breakfast, I’ll spend 15-20 minutes lounging on the sofa, thinking about the day’s experiences or ideas, choosing some color combinations (this takes a bit of time), and then creating freely without worrying about the piece’s perfection.

How an Introverted Ex-Design Director Improved His Speaking Skills

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Last Friday, I started my first paid design training session. Both the company boss (a friend I know) and the team gave positive feedback on the first class. One team member even remarked that my speaking was like a “torrent.” That took me by surprise. Of course, it also gave me a sense of accomplishment because over the years, I’ve made significant progress in communication and presentation skills.

In truth, I used to be an introverted person who wasn’t good with words. I often didn’t like to speak much and avoided expressing myself in public. But despite being so introverted, I managed to lead a design team of dozens and a business team of nearly a hundred people. And now, in paid design training, I’m being called “a torrent.”

How to Conduct a Successful Design Training

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, a friend invited me to provide paid training for his company’s design team.

I looked back at my previous design presentations and considered designers’ needs for sharing from the empathy angle. I outlined a plan for my friend: one theme per week, for a total of 8 sessions.

Diff’s design career journey & introductions
Designers’ skill dimensions and professional ethics
Design communication: how should designers express their needs?
How do designers review their own and others’ designs?
How should designers present their works?
How to interview or be interviewed?
How to manage a design team?
How should designers improve themselves?

My friend’s key feedback was: he wanted this to be more than just a sharing session; it needed to result in actionable changes. As he put it, “We know a lot, but we accomplish very little.”

Don't Compromise Easily

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Everything has two sides. While I’m mild-mannered, get along with others, and communicate smoothly (well, “smoothly” might be a stretch), there’s another side where I don’t hold firm enough to my views on important matters, like asserting my rightful interests or expressing my design philosophy.

Compromising too easily stems from a fear inside me—fear of rejection, fear of failure. So, I “step back” to accommodate others. To put it bluntly, I sacrifice my own opinions to gain others’ approval, aiming for acceptance of me as a person, not the topic at hand.

Remembering My Art Teacher Chen Jingyu

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I drew this of Teacher Chen Jingyu in Procreate.

I grew up in a small village in Changsha. My parents were farmers and couldn’t draw, so they didn’t influence my love for art. I remember my earliest drawing attempts—tracing “Saint Seiya” cards.

In my first year of middle school, there was a policy: if you enrolled in and passed exams in art, sports, or music, you’d get extra points on your high school entrance exam as a “special skills student.” I guess my dad wasn’t confident in my exam skills, so I joined the school’s art class. My school was called “Jiaotang Middle School,” about three or four miles from home, near Changsha Huanghua Airport.

On Death

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m in a faith low right now and sometimes doubt if I’m really believing in Jesus. But there’s one thing that’s become clearer to me: in daily life, I’m not afraid of death anymore. I say “daily life” because I’ve never actually faced or experienced death myself (maybe I’d still be nervous at that moment, hoping not afraid).

This fearlessness isn’t from a change in environment or self-psychology training. I believe it’s entirely from my Christian faith, from knowing and trusting Christ. So in this respect, no matter how weak I get, I can’t deny that I’m a Christian.

Love and Marriage

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, I’ve been reading Bonhoeffer, and one line struck me deeply and resonated with me:

“It’s not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love.”

There’s a saying: “Marriage is the grave of love.”

For many, that’s how it is. When a marriage begins, the love between two people, if not ended, at least fades. Some are confident that their love can make the marriage last “eternally,” “until death do us part,” by sustaining the marriage with love. Are there successful cases? By “successful,” I don’t mean marriages where “there’s no fighting and they just get by,” but ones where body and soul remain deeply united over time.

Quarter of the Year Gone

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m not someone who easily controls their emotions. One way I deal with feeling down is by sleeping. Last night, I went to bed at ten.

I still have many worries about the future and the road ahead. Every morning, I hand these worries over in prayer. But by the end of the day, it seems like they’ve returned and filled me up again. What I need to learn is to pray at night too, so I don’t carry them into the next day. 😄

Graphic Design Is True Love (Part 1)

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

My college major was graphic design. But when I first enrolled, the major was called “Graphic Decoration.” That was 2001. The term “Visual Communication” didn’t catch on in China until around 2004.

In the last semester of my senior year of high school, our school needed a new emblem. My art teacher, Mr. Chen Wenyi, started a small contest among the art students (actually more of an exercise). The result was a bunch of budding “design stars” all stuck on the concept of an “open book” for the design (that book icon 📖), which was painfully provincial. So, Mr. Chen gave a simple primer on logo design.

Rhythm

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Originally, it was just meant to be a diary entry, sharing an unformed idea, but I didn’t expect friends to share it widely. Thank my old friends for the attention and support.

Because of that, 81 new friends joined. For a small account that’s been around 4 years and hovered around 350 followers, having this many new friends is big. It makes me a bit anxious. What to write in today’s entry? Will I lose followers after posting? I think I will. After some thought, I decided on a principle: record the present, record the truth. I think with sincerity and true love, some will stay.

Starting a Design Studio?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Since around July 2019, I’ve been doing product and design consulting for a friend—three days in the office, two days off (rest, miscellaneous stuff), for a fixed service fee. By the end of this month, that collaboration will wrap up, and we’re discussing a more flexible arrangement.

I’m big on marking time with rituals. I joined Liulishuo in May 2013 and left in May 2019. I’m hoping after a year of pause and (so-called) reflection, to start fresh in May 2020.

Friends and Knocking on Doors

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Friends

I’ve been reading Bonhoeffer’s biography lately. I’m really envious of the kind of deep friendships he had — especially with Eberhard Bethge — where they could openly and freely share their faith and lives, supporting each other unconditionally. But, it made me reflect. The other night, I couldn’t help but keep asking Yanbing, “I have no friends. Who are my friends? Who can I have a deep conversation with?”

Writing a Diary

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Recently read some thought-provoking articles.

Bro Hui’s Odd Stories — I unfollowed this WeChat public account once, then started following it again. I stopped following because I felt his content was too much like “chicken soup” for the soul. But then a few articles on investing and finance caught my attention, and I followed him again. Bro Hui’s impressive because he’s highly knowledgeable and has strong execution. I judged this purely based on his writing and the fact that he can still post daily while working a day job. Later, I found out by chance that he studied with a former colleague of mine from Liulishuo.

Thoughts on 'Home Schooling Four Kids'

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This book is by a Taiwanese Christian mom who adopted four kids with her American husband because they couldn’t have children of their own—two girls and two boys. The book shares their family’s journey and experiences with homeschooling.

Curious about their lives, I found the mom’s blog. It turns out that in 2015, the family sold their Taipei apartment and moved to the clean, spacious countryside of Taitung. They started building their farmhouse and selling farm products. They’ve done what I dream of doing but never had the courage to try.

Struggling with Miracles in a Faith Valley

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m in a faith low right now.

When it comes to praying for God’s powerful healing and change for brothers and sisters who are seriously ill or in trouble, I have no faith. Miracles are a part of my understanding of God that I just can’t get past. It’s been this way since Weiwei passed away from cancer in 2012.

I’m doubting my faith. What exactly am I believing in?

Book Notes on 'The Life of James O. Fraser'

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

James O. Fraser - the tall white man in traditional Chinese attire in the back row

The Power of a Gospel Tract

In 1906, at age 20, James Outram Fraser, born into a wealthy British family and skilled in mathematics and music, was deeply moved by a gospel tract a classmate gave him. A short passage grabbed his heart and turned his life around:

If our Lord were to return today, and found millions and billions who have not heard the Gospel, constantly seeking yet not finding, He would certainly question us and ask us to answer. I really don’t know how we would answer. But one thing I am certain of is that most of the excuses we are used to making now will surely make us utterly ashamed.

A Few Things from 2019 Spring Festival

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Spending Time with Parents

Since I started boarding school in the second year of middle school, I’ve barely lived with my parents for over twenty years. Especially after starting work, the most time spent together in a year hasn’t exceeded two weeks.

Maybe I’m too independent. Deep down, there’s some rebellion and disagreement with the older generation. My relationship with my parents doesn’t feel that close. Now that I have kids myself and think about it from a parent’s perspective, it would be quite sad if my son treated me the same way. This has made me reflect.

Reflecting on My Design Journey

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Graduated from college in 2005, and I’ve been working for almost 14 years now. I’ve spent nearly 12 of those years in design. Recently, I’ve shifted from professional design to design management. In 2018, I transitioned to business and product roles (barely scraping the passing line).

I’m a bit confused about design now. Maybe I’m just at the age where one starts to feel that way.

I need some time to think, chat with some mentors and friends. One day, a few questions popped into my mind: Why did I choose design in the first place? What moments ignited my passion and sense of accomplishment in my design career?

Thanksgiving 2018

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

At 35, compared to before, I’ve found more peace in 2018 (though still struggling). I can accept whichever way our family’s future or our children’s education turns out, rich or poor, less anxiety now.
Thank God, I have the hope of eternal life. That’s why there’s peace and joy.
Thank God, our family started regular family worship time in September, sticking with it for over three weeks at one stretch. This marks a breakthrough for us in many years.

Praying in Weakness

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday was Sunday. Even after returning from the service, I still felt very weak.

Anran was sick, couldn’t sleep well, crying non-stop. Yanbing, having stayed up almost all night to care for him, was exhausted. For several days now, Anran had been in this state, but my heart was hard as if “I neither saw nor heard.” At that moment, I felt compelled to pray for him.

So, I began to pray. Anran’s cries gradually, gradually softened until he fell asleep. I, too, gradually entered into a state of prayer, really enjoying speaking to God. In the end, I was deeply thankful, grateful to God for using the illness in our family to bring about a renewal of my faith.

Renting for Freedom

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Since Eather is in education “outside the system,” Anran will likely do the same. Even if they attend public elementary school, owning a house isn’t really tied to education (of course, this also depends on whether parents care about brand-name schools and keeping up with others).

Shanghai’s housing prices are skyrocketing. With my current means, unless a windfall comes my way, buying a house in my lifetime is unlikely. Since education isn’t dictated by owning a house, what’s the big difference between renting and owning? Renting might be inconvenient—you have to move every two or three years. Other than that, I can’t see any real difference.

Homework

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This is my homework, and Eather’s too.

Eather’s been in elementary school for a month now, and to make sure she gets to school “on time,” we’ve been forcing, scolding, and yelling at her every day. But even so, she still hasn’t learned or adjusted. This Monday, we changed tactics—“let her be.” No rushing, no scolding, let her take responsibility for being “late.” As expected, she’s been late twice.

Don’t exasperate your children. This is the teaching from the Bible. How can we wisely guide our kids to become independent? Punishment is a very negative form of discipline. I need help.

Weakness

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m physically tired, heart feels empty, eyes wander, and I’m distant from Yanbing. I can’t control my anger toward Eather. I crave money and pleasures, worry a lot, and don’t feel God’s presence when I try to pray. That’s my life these days.

There’s no joy inside, just darkness. The family feels tense. Anger flares up easily.

Lord, save me!

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” (Psalm 16:2, NIV)

Make the Most of Your Time

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Sometimes, at work, I find myself just “getting by.” Why take life too seriously?

But seeing the shining works and stories of those who have labored intensely fills me with deep regret.

If this is the path I’ve chosen, I should walk it with all my might. Or perhaps, choose a different path? Either way, I need to think it through.

A person’s most precious resource is time. If you’re “getting by,” you’re using your “life” to just get by. I won’t do that. Besides, as a Christian, my work is done before the Lord. How could I dare to just get by in front of the Creator?

Preach the Word

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

During early morning prayers, I thought of that colleague again. There was a lunch once when he mentioned how “there’s always more work, and Saturdays are workdays too.” At the time, I just responded with an “Oh.” Looking back, I shouldn’t have been so indifferent.

God actually arranged many opportunities “to reach his soul,” but I was too careless, too dismissive. After my last “marriage relationship” talk at the company, a colleague left a message saying they were “almost ready to join the faith again.” I should follow up properly.

The Battle

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Today, at our weekly meeting, a colleague shared a session on “mindfulness” meditation and guided us through a 10-minute practice. Although it’s claimed to be non-religious, I think it bears a strong resemblance to religious forms (seems quite close to Buddhism).

Out of respect, I went along with my colleague’s arrangement, but in my heart, I prayed silently. During the prayer, I felt sad. This colleague actually had some exposure to Christianity before; he had good Christian friends who tried hard to influence him. From the first time we talked, I’ve wanted to bring him to church, but I always forgot, always felt unready. In the end, he’s found “comfort and fulfillment” through another way.

Offer the Most Precious

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I think only God can keep me away from infidelity. I’ve tried overcoming it with my own willpower many times and failed, leaving me feeling frustrated.

In the morning, I habitually scroll through my WeChat Moments. But after just a page, my thoughts turn to God. I want to offer the earliest and most precious part of my day to Him. So, I start with praise and devotional time.

During this time, I pray for my “lust of the eyes” and “inner impurity.” Thank God, on the way to work, I’m not bound by “impurity” and feel so free and at peace.

Five-Minute Writing

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I originally started a WeChat public account to create opportunities for myself to “write.” But actually, I didn’t write much. The main reasons: picking up a pen during a busy workday is too hard; clearly explaining something is too hard; writing a piece that resonates and gets likes and rewards is too hard. So, gradually I gave up.

Last week, I had a sudden idea: write for “five minutes” every day. I set a “five-minute” timer. The ticking forces me to think quickly, to record quickly. It’s very effective, I’m writing again.

Nothing Comes Easy

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

When faced with a “difficulty,” it’s easy to think of “changing environments” or “changing people,” often using others’ “free, fulfilling, fresh, perfect” lives as a reference.

But if you think calmly, there’s no perfect “good life” in this world; everyone has their goodness and everyone has their difficulties. Whether it’s work, family, or friendships.

I need to think about what my current goals are, and what I need to gain and learn from “suffering and challenges.” Passion, achievement, skills, income—these are external; the most precious things left by the passage of time are my character, virtues, and will.

Mountains May Depart

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

A solitary night, perfect for watching this film.

1999 to 2014 (2 years ago), then to 2025 (9 years ahead), feels like being in the movie, as memories from the past flood in.

A lifetime truly passes in a blink. Such a brief moment, yet filled with all kinds of tastes, daunting to savor, yet often reminisced.

One day, will I return to the mountains and rivers, and meet old friends again?

My Hope

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Singing hymns early this morning: my hope is in Jesus Christ…

Lately, I’ve been thinking about some “hopes” (and worries): challenges at work, confusion about career development, Eather’s elementary school (very demanding), learning to drive, and so on. But honestly, these aren’t hopes placed in Jesus Christ. Deep down, I know that if they’re not in Jesus Christ, there’s no peace.

I need to turn back and ask the Lord for help.

Home

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This is my 12th move, and my 3rd move in Shanghai after living here for 3 years.

Every time I leave a place, I feel a pang of emotion. That once warm, bustling house we left early and returned to late becomes unfamiliar in an instant, no longer connected to us. “Home” becomes just a “house” in a moment.

So, I’m very aware that only where family is together is truly home. This way, it doesn’t matter as much where we live, what kind of house it is, or even if we rent or own.

Denying Myself

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

It’s so hard to first deny and reflect on myself when I disagree with others or when there’s conflict. People habitually protect themselves. To guard our own interests, self-esteem, and dignity, sometimes we’d rather choose to be wrong.

Even though I’m still unsure of the road ahead, looking at what I’m doing from a semi-outsider’s perspective really makes things a lot easier. I’m not as concerned with gains and losses anymore.

The Designer's Attitude

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m about to leave my current startup team. I promised to help finish some design work by the 15th of this month.

Honestly, once you have the mindset of leaving, it’s hard to put your heart into the work.

Last night, walking home, I was thinking: why is that?

Shouldn’t a real designer take every project seriously, no matter the size, as long as it’s in their hands?

Looking back, many “garbage designs” that I’m ashamed of were released from my hands because I wasn’t responsible or lacked the right attitude toward design.

Playing with Design

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Not every designer has the luxury to “play with design,” but every designer can embrace the mindset of “playing with design.” Don’t treat design like a job. See it as playing a game or with toys, and a designer’s heart becomes more relaxed, open, humble, and strong.

On Drawing

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I hope that 100 sessions of aimless, scattered doodling can inspire and support me in one deliberate, goal-oriented creation or design. That’s why I often doodle.

Besides, for me, doodling is a great way to vent and express emotions.

Some in the field think “design has no direct relation to art,” and even assert that “design can be completely achieved through calculation”…

My view is: good design is inherently aesthetic, whether it’s an emotional design or a rational one. A designer lacking in aesthetic sense isn’t a good designer.

Becoming Mature

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I believe the challenge of living isn’t about gaining more externally, but maturing internally as we age.

What is maturity? Last night, during our study of Romans, Teacher Han summed it up:

Loving those who are “unlovable” or hard to love, submitting to those you can’t submit to, and enduring people or things you find unbearable.

This morning, while playing basketball, the word “mature” suddenly came to mind, and I thought a lot about it.

Personal Value

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Work and entrepreneurship should just be ways to realize personal value, not become the purpose themselves.

Realizing personal value starts with having a clear personal direction. Every experience from the past, present, and future should bring us closer to this “direction.”

Simply put, whether it’s work or entrepreneurship now, the tasks planned in your personal direction should be completed one by one.

2012 is almost halfway over. Looking back at your plans from the start of the year, which ones are you currently working on?

What I Love

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Genesis 29:15-20 15 Laban said to him, “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.” 18 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.” 20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

Believe or Not

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I took nearly a month, in bits and pieces, to finish reading The Wisdom of Uncertainty.

“We either choose to live as though God exists and base our life on that fact, or we choose to live as though God does not exist and base our life on that.”

This sentence moved me. I asked myself: What am I choosing? Am I choosing that God exists, or that He does not?

Here We Go

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

If you have the guts, the open-mindedness, and the adventurous spirit to take on a contract like this, then for my first venture, our team, and me personally, our current investor is an excellent mentor. Talking to him, I’ve gained a lot of valuable insights on entrepreneurship, like some points he shared tonight:

A good idea is important, but only a good team and execution can win. Even the worst model can succeed with a great team—like “moving a cargo ship to the top of the Himalayas.”
Entrepreneurship is never smooth; when times are tough, the team needs to persevere.
Forming cliques is a high-voltage line.
Trust, openness, focus.
Speed and iteration in products; initially, to launch a product quickly, you can use “any means necessary” (human resources, technical solutions, etc.).
Look at your peers with a developmental perspective. Today’s junior editor might be tomorrow’s VP; vision, attitude, and passion are more important than experience.

I’ve read and heard this stuff before, but hearing it from different people makes it hit differently.

Designing for Users

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

User-centered design, or designing from the user’s perspective, these are phrases designers often use. Everyone understands them differently (and some never really understand them). My interpretation is:

Understand and feel the user’s needs; feel the user’s “hunger,” the user’s “pain.” A well-fed person doesn’t understand the hunger of a starving one. In many product scenarios, designers may have moved beyond “basic needs.” How can such “well-fed” designers create for the “hungry”? For example, a designer who’s always used an iPhone working on a low-end smartphone. Or, a designer who’s married working on a dating app.
Be sincere and loving towards users. Being sincere means helping users solve problems with integrity, positivity, and love, not exploiting human weaknesses or dark sides. Catering to the “sinful” demands of human nature is a “shortcut,” with immediate, noticeable benefits, but in the long run, it’s a path to ruin. Myspace and Facebook are clear examples.
In specific design tasks, designers should return to the basics and forget “showing off skills” or “being cool.” The starting point of design should be “how to create user value and present it to the user in a suitable way.” Design shouldn’t be a tool for designers to “stand out.”

Back to Basics

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In the past three months, our ability to “do things right” has been well proven. But upon reflection, are we “doing the right things”? Unfortunately or fortunately, we’ve decided to change direction. Today’s goal in communicating with investors was to convey that this new direction is the “right thing” and to hope they finalize their investment.

The product concept already exists as a complete model and use case in real life. The challenge is how to “move it online,” how to use the “internet” to allow users to achieve the greatest value at lower costs and higher efficiency. Honestly, I haven’t figured out this problem. A simple analysis and intuition tell me it’s a very promising direction, but it’s one that is challenging and costly to validate.

Do the Little Things

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

On New Year’s Day 2012, I spent a whole day making what I thought was an executable plan for the year.

For the first five days, I stuck to the plan. Kept regular hours, balanced work, study, and entertainment. Tidied up as I went, kept the house clean. Cooked, made baked fish, grape juice, and even cut myself a fruit plate. Life was good, orderly. On the big scale, I had ideas for product design; on the small scale, life was flavorful. My faith was in a good place too.

Plans for 2012

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Review of Past Plans

Looked back at plans from ‘07, ‘09, and ‘10. Not much was accomplished. Some plans were forgotten almost immediately.

If plans are so unreliable, what’s their purpose? Plan or wishlist? Making plans now feels like making wishes—casual, with no need to follow through and no accountability. But, of course, the Bible teaches us not to make vows lightly.

The original purpose of making plans:

Without plans, life is chaotic. That’s clearly not how God works. When God created the heavens and the earth, it was with much planning and order.
Plans give direction to life. (Daily life is like sailing on the sea—full of tempting fogs, easy to lose direction, and sway.)
Plans make life more efficient and secure, allowing for better enjoyment. (Without a financial plan, family finances spiral out of control; we could set aside funds for overseas travel, but without a plan, the opportunity slips away.)

Why do plans fail?

Why Is Faith So Hard?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Why can’t I read the Bible as regularly and easily as I eat meals? I really can’t live by food alone. Food satisfies the body’s needs; the Bible is food for the soul.

Why do I need to spend an hour and a half each week doing one-on-one Bible study, beyond Sunday services?

Why do I have to prepare so much for Christmas every year? If I truly understand Jesus, deeply feel His love, and really love Him, then spending time on Christmas should be sweet, right? Why does it feel like a burden?

User Mindset

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m becoming more like a gourmet, tasting different products, casually chewing them over, then making a “professional” conclusion. There’s so much delicious stuff out there, but if it’s just about tasting for the sake of it, or for the goal of “having tasted it,” the result is, without realizing it, I lose the ability to enjoy the experience itself.

Whether it’s Instagram, read-it-later apps, or Path, I consume them one by one. But am I really enjoying them? Am I truly using them with an ordinary person’s mindset? If I’m always tasting with the critic’s pose, then we’re getting further away from being “users.” That phrase designers often say, “I think users are this and that…” has become meaningless because you’re not really standing in the user’s shoes.

Stamped

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Stamped on the App Store

A very interesting quote:

“The problem we’re trying to solve is the noise problem in information. Especially now, when you search online for restaurants, books, movies, or music, the results are overwhelming and chaotic. It’s hard to find what you really want. What do 3-star ratings from more than 70 strangers mean? Are they saying it’s good or bad? Can you trust their opinions? Who are they? If you’ve ever wondered about these things, it means you’ve deeply felt the weaknesses of current review and rating sites.”

God's Grace—My Nose

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Everyone knows sinusitis is a stubborn issue that modern medicine can’t solve.

And I’m someone who suffers deeply from it. Every day, like clockwork, I wake up around 1 AM due to sneezing or a runny nose. This has been my life for over a year, worse in winter.

Imagine living with this every day. Now imagine living like this for decades. I felt pretty hopeless, until one night, I let out a frustrated yell, “Why is it like this?!”

Fix for Code Sign Error: Provisioning Profile XXXX Can't Be Found

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, while testing an app on a device via Xcode, I needed to update the provisioning because I added a new device. I deleted the old provisioning, downloaded a new one, installed it, and then got this error: Code Sign error: Provisioning profile XXXX can’t be found I found a solution on Google, but downloading the text editor was too slow for me, so I found another method that works: Go to the project, Build Settings, click on the code signing identity option, select “other…”, and change the old provisioning identifier (a string of numbers) in the edit box to the new one. Note: You can find the provisioning identifier in the organizer.

Design Perspective

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

First, let me pull up an old joke:

A large corporation brings in a soap packaging line and encounters a bug: boxes often come out without soap inside. They hire a postdoctoral researcher at great expense, which costs millions, but he finally solves it. When there’s an empty soap box, a robotic arm detects it and removes it. A local township enterprise buys the same production line and hits the same problem. The boss buys a high-power fan for 90 bucks, turns it on full blast, and all the empty boxes get blown away.

Optimism

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I went to the hospital, worried that a mole on the back of my neck might have turned malignant.

Every time I’m in a hospital, my heart feels strangely calm.

Everyone cares about their physical life. (But how many care about their spiritual life?)

The hospital is crowded. Doctors seem like small-scale vendors.

But that’s not what I want to talk about.

After the blood draw, the nurse told me to use the machine for “self-service test results” in an hour. There’s one at the entrance.

Recent Photo

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

It’s been a while since I’ve shown my face. To prep for a team introduction, I took out the 400D and snapped some photos of everyone. Spent quite a bit of effort on the layout design, using some theories from the book “Layout Design” I’ve been reading lately. (I recommend it to designers interested in layout design.)

Not sure how far this team will go, but for as long as I’m here, I want to infuse design into every aspect of the company. So even for a team introduction—which in the past might have been just “everything it should be”—I now aim to make it outstanding. If we’re fortunate enough to become a company, I hope it’s genuinely design-driven. Just shouting slogans isn’t enough; we need to make it real. At the very least, through actions and details, I want my teammates to feel the presence of design.

Feeling of Happiness

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Morning, 7 AM, Zhejiang University basketball court, foggy.

Half an hour of basketball has passed, and the vast court is almost entirely mine to enjoy. The fog can’t block the sun’s light. Despite just a small white dot in the misty sky, it’s clear—that’s the sun.

Exercise brings a stretch to the body, deep breaths, such fresh air. In the moment of running for a layup, I suddenly felt a kind of happiness, an unexpected joy filled my heart. At that moment, I was completely satisfied with my life; this satisfaction didn’t come from material things or the outside world but from the feeling of being protected and assured by God. Although there’s not much materially, I have no reason to worry.

Giving Thanks to God

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday’s presentation to the investors went very smoothly. They said they were “98%” satisfied.

Of course, I was very pleased. On the way back, still feeling excited, I wondered: should I thank God for this? I did pray about this a couple of days ago.

On the drive, I started talking to myself. I’ve always been someone who prays before things happen but finds it hard to thank God afterward, even denying His work at times.

Simplicity

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Whether it’s in life or mindset, simple is better than complicated.

People gravitate towards complexity: scheming, manipulation, deceit…
Life is like chess. When it comes to complexity, even with meticulous planning and strategies, there’s always room for oversight. Besides, complexity has no end.

But “simplicity”—it counters many with one, maintains calm in action, remains unchanged amidst all changes.

So, I’ll keep it simple.

If someone wrongs me, let it be. If someone deceives me, let it be.
At least I believe I am always in God’s hands. No matter what, I’m safe.

Thoughts on Community

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Scattered thoughts, just jotting them down:

In a community, there are 5% opinion leaders, 15% active users, and 5% active users striving to become opinion leaders.
Libraries aren’t short on “users,” but they can’t form a community. Libraries lean more towards being a “tool” for users, with no interaction between them. Basketball courts are different, though — their “physical contact” through team sports, whether in set teams or impromptu, naturally leads to socializing. But basketball courts are also too niche. Their greatest value is as part of a university where different niches can all have their place.

The Essence of Entrepreneurship

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This process can easily get puffed up.

It seems another social network is about to be born or that some model is about to be disrupted yet again; talking about user numbers, open platforms, investment, and profit margins. It seems like passion, but it’s already slipped into a kind of blindness and illusion.

“Is it really bringing value to users? Does it meet a hard or a soft need of theirs?” An entrepreneur or a designer needs to ask themselves this often.

Simple

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Making things simple—that’s the value.

If something that takes 10 steps can be designed to be done in 3, or even 1, that’s competitiveness.

Simple inside and out is best; usually, it’s complex inside, simple outside.

Third Quarter 2011

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

It’s the first time I’ve hated autumn.

Sure, the days are crisp and clear, but my worsening sinusitis and dry eyes made me feel anything but “refreshed.” Plus, the cursed mouth sore from overheating.

Even though I’ve been playing basketball at 6:30 each morning, by evening, my body feels exhausted.

This is the life I chose for myself, to leave a stable, inefficient, chaotic environment.

Things aren’t looking optimistic, at least not from where I stand, although there’ve been some exciting moments along the way.

Personal Breakthrough

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Presentation has always been my weak spot.
M said I don’t lack eloquence or confidence, and I agree.
What I lack is the ability to convey confidence and information to the audience.

Honestly, when I think about this, the truth is there’s a deep-seated insecurity within me.
It binds me, preventing clear expression.
But recently, I broke through by presenting to a top boss.
Suddenly, a lot of things became clear.

Stop Making Casual Decisions

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

‘Sure, sounds good,’ has somehow become a habitual phrase for me.

Casual decisions or promises often lead to regret later.

I need to have a more deliberate attitude in all areas of life.

Make Creativity Worthless

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

As a badass designer, what he’s least lacking, and what he considers least valuable, should be creativity. Even if a designer’s creativity is the least valuable, it’s still worth others paying a high price for it. But I often feel a “lack” of creativity and tend to overvalue my so-called creativity. Seems like I’m not badass enough. Let’s work to make creativity worthless.

Advantage

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Sitting on my electric scooter waiting for the light to change, I realized: having a family already established and stable is a huge advantage for me at this stage, no matter what I plan to do next.

So many young people are still struggling to “start a family” (often tied down by worldly notions like “having a car and a house”)!

Thinking about this, I feel especially grateful!

Berry & Cherry

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The story of cherries and strawberries.

This was the image designed for Zhou Bichang’s brand. It got finalized, but in the end, it wasn’t used. A bit of a shame, but it’s fine—I enjoyed drawing it.

Dior

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Saw a Weibo post that floored me:

Christian Dior was an important designer who brought traditional clothing into modern functionalism. He once lived a nomadic life, making a living by sketching in backstreets and waiting rooms in Paris, with no formal fashion training, drifting from place to place. However, he clearly recognized that he was a born designer, with an acute sense of proportion. His brilliant career only truly began after he turned 40.

The Tragic Nail

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Today I did something wrong.

I saw a nail on the company steps. To keep others from stepping on it and hurting themselves, I picked it up.

It was a brand-new nail.

I held it in my hand, walked a few steps, and then thought it didn’t seem useful to keep holding it.

So, I just tossed it into the dark stairwell below.

At the time, it didn’t seem like much.

Eather Drinking Yogurt

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Need for Change

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Lack of creativity.

My mind’s filled with trivial matters, leaving no room for creativity.

Getting physically sluggish.

Turning into a food-processing machine.

Need to change.

Focus, concentrate on creativity, design, and their value.

Get passionate, think big and act boldly (or I’ll really regret not stepping up when I hit middle age).

Start exercising, get my body back in shape (like an eagle renewing its youth).

Be a bit more confident.

Workspace

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

From 8 PM to a bit past 11, I tidied up. Finally, the room feels a bit fresher.

This is my workspace. Hoping this year, some good ideas will spring up here and come to life.

On Thinking

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

A lot of things are worth thinking about.

But it’s important to think about the right things at the right time.

For instance, at home, think about family matters, and at work, think about work issues, etc.

However, I’ve often mixed these up,

which leads to feeling overwhelmed and busy at home with work pressure, and being distracted at the office, concerned with things outside of work.

A New Routine After Eleven Years

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Today I’m in a great mood.

Last night, I was in a terrible mood, complaining that having kids means almost no private time. So, I went to bed around 9:30.

This morning, I got up really early, around 4:50.

So far, I’ve had almost four full hours to myself. Four hours, to do anything I want, without feeling sleepy.

During a work break in the restroom, I suddenly realized how suitable this schedule is for me.

Thoughts from Cherries and Strawberries

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Focus on doing every important task with dedication! Whether it’s work or side projects.

Also, I’ve finally realized that creating requires a theme. I never thought a story could exist between cherries and strawberries, all thanks to imagination. Set a small direction, a small theme, and then imagine infinitely; Boundless imagination leads to confusion and a fear of the limitless. That’s a mistake I used to make. Don’t be too greedy, just be content.

Two Insights

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

If you’re numb to life, then life will be numb to you.

How to care about life? Only by slowing down and finding inner peace. In today’s society, achieving these is so hard. That’s why it’s precious.

Another insight:

Success is excellent self-management. Manage your time, relationships, skills, etc…

Planting a Seed

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Plant a seed, spend 20 minutes each day watering and fertilizing it, then wait quietly for the year’s harvest.

Is Focus Fatal?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Focus—it’s really hard.

Whether for an individual or a company.

Wanting to acquire in a few days, or even a few hours, the skills that others hone over years;

Trying with just a few resources, within a limited time, to achieve what a company of hundreds accumulates over years with its products. (In big companies, it’s often about trying to “imitate” several products at once.)

The result is inevitably terrible!!!!

High Jun's Speech at Ogilvy Training

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve read this many times, almost every year. Reading it again to give myself a boost:

To those gathered here, the elite among elites, I ask you to put down your pens.

Because you don’t need notes. Taking them is pointless. You act like you’re learning, but you’ll just go back to being novices, following your boss and clients. All you can do is submit, and then submit again.

I’m sorry if you don’t like this opening. I have a favor to ask.

Learning Two Truths

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

By now, at 28, I’ve finally understood one truth:

“The real world will never fully satisfy you.”

Whether it’s the “land of freedom and dreams” in the eyes of many, like the U.S., Taiwan, or China. So sometimes, I truly find hope in the “kingdom of heaven” mentioned in the Bible.

As a designer, after five years in the workforce, I’ve learned this:

“Dissent and controversy will always exist, unless those you’re dealing with are no longer thinking humans. If you can persuade others, consider yourself lucky; if not, there’s no reason to complain or be disappointed. ‘Others’ are simply people who are different from you. Besides, even in some matters, I can be indecisive myself.”

Obstacles to Prayer

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This morning, when I suddenly sang “Ebenezer, the Lord has helped us thus far,” my heart paused.

Do I really believe this?

If I truly believed so, then there are many things in my life now that I need to pray for. But I still can’t move past what seemed like a failed prayer the last time.

I often hear teachings like: “You can place your needs in prayer, but whether God grants them or not depends on His will; some prayers that aren’t granted might not align with God’s will. You should pray in ways that align with God’s will.”

Design and Art Are No Longer My Top Priority

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

These past couple of days, I’ve been reading ‘The Life of John Bunyan’, and for the first time, I feel that design and art are no longer my top priorities in life.

Because faith is more important than both of these.

Thinking this way, the things I find intolerable in my daily work suddenly seem more bearable.

Ask Less of Life

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Ask less of life;
Ask less of others;
Keep your desires and dreams in check. Focus on one thing at a time. (If it’s two or three things, it’s not called focus.)
No need to invest in things without difficulty or challenge—they hold no value. For example, watching TV or mindlessly browsing the internet and Weibo.
Don’t be too greedy.

Two phrases I’ve liked recently:
Excited to discover my ignorance every day.
The world has enough smart people; I’d rather be a fool.

Calming Down

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Last night’s frustrations and struggles led me to this conclusion:

Perfect companies and systems don’t exist. No matter where you work, there will always be issues of some kind.

So, what can I do? Discover problems and try to come up with solutions. Change what I can, calmly accept what I can’t. Don’t complain.

Some Principles

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

If you think others aren’t up to the mark, then show your own solution. Otherwise, keep quiet! Don’t gossip around like a villager.

If you can’t clearly express an idea yourself, don’t share it publicly. Sharing incomplete ideas with others, especially with your boss, might just kill a good idea because of poor presentation.

If you can prove you’re excellent and those around you aren’t, then leave and find better partners.

Country Woman

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

At a temporary train station in Xiaoshan, waiting for K137. The hall was packed with people.

Ahead, there was a surprisingly empty seat. I moved over to it.

Looking down, I saw the floor covered in sunflower seed shells.

Turns out, a woman beside me was snacking.

Her skin was yellow, hair a bit messy and probably greasy. Her eyes were like dead fish’s, mechanically stuffing food into her mouth.

Grandpa and the Stroke

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve always been afraid of the dead or dying. But when I saw my grandpa, who wasn’t fully lucid, I wasn’t scared. He was still alive, though his right eye was blurry.

I leaned close to his ear and loudly told him I had come to see him. My aunt said it was no use; he couldn’t make out what was happening anymore.

When I held his hand, hugged his head, and rested my forehead against his face, I saw a tear in the corner of his left eye.

Taking the Train

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In movies, especially international ones, trains always give me a feeling of warmth, freedom, relaxation, and hope.

K137, the train back to Changsha, presents a scene that makes me feel “alarming, utterly disgusting.”

Many people shamelessly smoke in the carriage, shamelessly toss their food and drink trash right onto the floor—melon seed shells, chicken bones, food wrappers.

The whole carriage is a smoky mess, full of strange odors, an absolute garbage dump.

My Foggy Mind

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

“Don’t come back. It’s a waste of money and delays work. Come back next time,” Dad said over the phone when Grandpa had a stroke and was on the brink of life. I had planned to visit, but Dad persuaded me otherwise.

I understood what he meant by “next time” and accepted his advice. This was last Friday.

All through this week, I haven’t felt right about it. I often feel guilty.

What I Focus On

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Just now, while I was writing the previous post, Misa suddenly appeared behind me, saying they’d be distributing company stock to employees soon and emphasized the stock’s value.

Honestly, my heart skipped a beat. It’s about benefit, after all. I even wondered deep down how much I might get.

But then I came to my senses. As a designer, what’s most important? What should I focus on?

I’m increasingly convinced that understanding design better and designing with ease is what I need to focus on. As for those benefits, they’re just things that come along the way. A bit of patience is all that’s needed to wait for them.

Waking Up at 5:30 AM

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Honestly, I don’t know how long I’ll keep this up, but today’s the start of this routine.

5:30 AM feels early, but when I reached the entrance of the community, I found a lot of people were already busy. Commuters, breakfast vendors, even one or two elementary school kids — one looked about 10.

Biked to ZJU basketball court by around 6, started playing.

The roads were wide, the air fresh, the sky vast. The thought flashed by — why is the world so big, yet we confine our lives to 100 square meters of housing and a few square meters of car space? And we’re so obsessed.

True Faith

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

On a quiet night, while showering, a strong feeling rose from deep within me. It was my faith restored once again, choosing to walk towards God, bringing me great peace and confidence.

This feeling is very real. For the first time, I sense the truth of faith. I can’t deny this truth, even though I’ve denied it countless times before.

God, I love you.

Trust Your Gut

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

When you’re undecided on something specific or logic fails to solve a problem, trust your gut.

Honestly, I’ve always been someone who didn’t believe in intuition, thinking that relying on gut feelings was unreliable and rash.

After going through a period of acting purely on feeling, then a time where feelings were mostly replaced by reason and logic, and finally, a stage where reason and logic clashed entirely, I now believe intuition is the most genuine.

Forget What Lies Behind, Strive Toward What Lies Ahead

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In the dream, I was climbing with companions. A steep, steep side was the way to life.

Almost at the peak, for some reason, I suddenly looked back. The cliffs made my heart tremble. I was stuck.

‘Forget what lies behind, and strain toward what lies ahead.’ This Bible verse came to mind.

I took it to heart. I stopped looking back, focused only on moving forward.

It was a dream.

Design and Aesthetics

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Because I believe:

In design, anything is possible;
There is more than one way to solve a problem;
The current design might not be the most perfect;

So, I’m always willing to accept feedback from my lead or colleagues. Indeed, further revisions can elevate my design to another level. But at the same time, my mind gets crowded with other people’s voices. I gradually lose my own judgment or what you might call aesthetic sense — the ability to choose the best among the best. This is a very frightening thing.

Busy, Joy, Happiness

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve never been busier than I am now. But each time an idea becomes an actual design, each time the team recognizes a design, each time I contribute a small step in advancing the overall design, I feel satisfied and happy. Even if it means cycling five kilometers home late at night around ten.

At the same time, being busy has cost me some precious things. I don’t have much time for Yanbing and the kids. I love you guys.

Helpless

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

My aunt sent my cousin to Hangzhou, hoping I could have some influence on him. Faced with a nineteen-year-old who is absorbed in fantasy novels, has poor self-control, and has been a constant headache for his parents, I initially had some “education plans.” But soon, I felt helpless. Changing a person is so hard.

I told Yanbing, if I had a son like that, what would I do? Maybe I would’ve given up already.

Eather Eating

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

About Time

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

On my way to the restroom, it hit me that now and in the future, I can’t have long stretches of neatly organized time like when I was young. What I have now are countless fragments of time: an hour, 30 minutes, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 2 minutes…

Realizing this, I’ve come to see that my ongoing idea of “waiting for a set block of time to do something properly” is completely wrong.

What's the Most Important and Challenging Part for a Designer?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Walking on the road today, this question suddenly came to me.

It’s a question I must think through and find an answer to (if I still choose to pursue the path of a designer). At the same time, for various reasons, it’s a question I’ve long avoided.

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on it and have come up with the first version of an answer.

4:06 AM

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Checked the world clock—it’s 4:06 AM in Washington, USA. No wonder my GoDaddy server is so slow.

Tomorrow morning’s flight back to Changsha.

It’s been over a year since I last went back. This time, I’ll visit family and then bring my wife and baby over here.

Tonight, I’m shamelessly wasting time.

At 10 PM, Brazil played Portugal. Even though it’s a match between two strong teams, a fake fan like me who only cares about goals found it boring. Ended 0-0.

Visual Performance & Visual Design

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

For a product, visual performance disconnected from the product’s structure is meaningless.

Visual performance is intuitive, like an artist’s ‘graffiti,’ not ‘composition-creation’;

Visual design combines reason and emotion, built on understanding and optimizing the structure.

Visual performance is about details and fragments;

Visual design is a comprehensive, complete, and logically and structurally clear solution.

Visual design solves problems through visual performance.

But first, you need to clarify what problems you’re solving before starting design.

Dieter Rams' Ten Principles for Good Design

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Good Design is Innovative
Innovation lasts, imitation fades. It does not copy existing product forms, nor does it produce any kind of novelty for the sake of it. The essence of innovation must be clearly seen in all functions of a product. The possibilities in this respect are by no means exhausted. Technological development keeps offering new chances for innovative solutions.
Good Design Makes a Product Useful
If it can’t be used, don’t bother. A product is bought in order to be used. It must serve a defined purpose – in both primary and additional functions. The most important task of design is to optimize the utility of a product.

Shocking Icebreaker

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday, I caught up with an old colleague who shared some stories from his time at Alibaba. What really struck me was their team’s “icebreaker.”

The icebreaker activity itself seems harmless enough. But the version at Alibaba was appalling, both to the eyes and ears—utterly obscene and violent.

Female colleagues directly asked male colleagues about the size and dimensions of their genitals; male colleagues unabashedly asked if they could have a one-night stand with female colleagues.

The Greatest Designer

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Who is the most amazing designer? The Creator. Whether it’s form, color, or composition, everything is alive and vibrant. Even more astonishing is His ability to create human souls, each with an independent mind. How wonderful.

I spend my days chasing after second-rate designs, preferring to browse online rather than connect with the greatest works.

Whether it’s a single plant or a small flower, how intricate and vivid they are.

Design Principles from Apple

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

1. Making your own decisions about what’s good
Ive’s team doesn’t attend a lot of design conferences, even though they win lots of awards. The two reasons offered for this are that they consider themselves the highest standard they know of, and the team focuses on the judgment of team members, rather than external recognition. Ive also admits that they don’t want to let others in on too much of their process, or they might be able to close the gap.

Humility Comes Before Honor

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.
— Proverbs 18:12

This verse suddenly came to me during prayer today.

Recent Happenings

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

First off, my wife and kids went back to our hometown in China. They’ll be there for about two months. So, I’m living the single life for now. A bit excited, honestly, to have time for some personal projects. But every day feels lonely; I miss my wife and kids a lot.

Second, my grandma passed away. We faced the dilemma of our Christian faith conflicting with rural funeral customs, like bowing and participating in rituals that God forbids. At first, my wife and I struggled with how to handle it. But through prayer, we decided to stick to our faith. Our family was understanding, especially Grandpa. The final decision was for me not to attend the funeral, which is a bit of a regret.

What to Write?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve opened up the WP dashboard several times, always wanting to jot something down. When it comes to design ideas, they often feel shallow, scattered, not quite worth sharing. As for life, it’s just the usual everyday stuff, and chattering on about that can get dull.

But I’ll write a bit, if only to let friends who care about me know I’m still kicking and doing alright.

I changed jobs, now at a company called Mammoth Technology. Honestly, I’m excited about this company. While everything isn’t perfect yet, every start has its rough patches. I’m patient and ready for it.

Me

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I easily get emotional, finding fault with people and discomfort in things.

I admit, it’s a bad habit.

My mom went back to Changsha today. She’s been here for nearly 80 exhausting days. She said, “Your temper’s gotten a lot stranger lately. You weren’t like this before.”

It’s true. Over the years, my temper’s gotten worse without me noticing.

What do I do about it?

Another thing I need to admit to my friends is that my faith is in pretty bad shape. I tell one person to believe, then another.

Love

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Before heading to work each morning, I like to spend twenty minutes on the tenth-floor balcony doing my devotional time and singing hymns. The place is quiet, the air is fresh, and there’s no cigarette smoke. After singing two hymns, the cleaning lady came by to mop the floor. As she bent over with her mop, moving it back and forth, I felt an unintentional sense of superiority as she came near. It was as if I was telling myself, “We’re not from the same class.” I felt ashamed when I realized this.

Starting Craft Projects

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve always loved crafting. As a kid, I was quite the “master of destruction” who tinkered with crafts. In high school, I made handmade cards for girls I liked. During college, many of my design courses involved crafting by hand.

Heh, honestly, any drawing counts as a “craft project.” Crafting might be my calling.

I’m planning to start with some small notebooks. I’ve got all the tools and materials ready, just waiting to begin. I’m also considering opening a Taobao store for fun.

Imagination

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Days seem to repeat, day after day.

If life is just simple repetition, it must be empty and meaningless.

I try hard to find different elements in each day, to live today differently from yesterday.

I’ll have lunch earlier or later, take a random path to walk, and stop to look at the contrast between the fallen yellow leaves of a tree and the gray wall behind it. Passing by a high-end hotel, I catch a glimpse of a lady elegantly enjoying her meal behind a square dark glass window. But I don’t envy her. I’m gradually realizing that the external satisfaction from food is fleeting.

Planning

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

There’s a company.

When there’s money, it feels like anything is possible. So, everything gets pursued, but nothing done well. The scope stretches too long, and then it gets harder to manage. Naturally, soon comes the time when there’s no money.

At that point, it feels like nothing can get done. Few people, little strength, lots to handle. Facing endless gaps that never get patched up, feeling lost. Don’t even mention innovation; new things come out, lacking support and improvements, still a mess.

Life Attitude

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The baby finally fell asleep, so now there’s a moment of peace.

Saw on Google Reader that Teacher Pi got a new Land Rover. Kinda hit me hard, but at the same time, I often feel that compared to some friends, I’m doing alright.

When will I learn to live “without comparing myself to others”?

When will I have enough space inside to embrace the outside world? To not feel inferior even in poverty next to those who have more, and to not feel boastful even in wealth next to those who have less.

Our Daughter, Eather

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Her name is from the Bible, Exodus 15:27:

“They came to Elim, where there were twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water.”

Learn more on Baidu Baike

What to Do

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The past two weeks, I’ve been organizing the company’s products. Sometimes everything’s clear; other times, I’m completely lost. There’s just so much to change and improve. But the big picture is what it is, and personal thoughts and actions feel so small compared to the broader situation. Often, a question pops up: Do I really have the power to change anything?

This morning, I saw a year-end special from NetEase. It was really moving. Suddenly, it hit me that our country is like a failing company. It’s decayed, old, unfair, and the company culture promotes “profit” above all else — everything comes down to money. In this company, many employees’ contributions don’t match what they get in return. Many are dissatisfied, many complain. Some are just happy to get their paycheck at month-end. Some have great ideas, along with many who actively try to make a difference.

Who Can Be Against Us?

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday I submitted a proposal to our company’s boss, genuinely hoping the higher-ups would approve and support it. Although I have some skills and experience, such a large plan makes me feel unsure about my confidence and abilities. Still, I can see what Jiutian wants to accomplish. Someone has to do it, and since there’s no one more suitable, I’ll volunteer.

The Bible teaches me that if I focus on people or myself, my lack of ability and confidence will lead to loss of faith, especially when faced with difficulties. The inevitable result is feeling inadequate, scared, unable to move forward, and eventually, giving up. But if I fix my eyes on God, who created heaven and earth, everything changes. He has the power to create the universe, so what’s a little website project? Moreover, He is willing to help and empower those who seek His assistance.

Conversation with Yi

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I saw Yi write a post called “State and Time”. I wrote a long comment, but it said “Comments are closed.” So I’m posting it here.

I used to think that whether a person is happy or not is closely tied to money, so I worked hard to boost my value.

But the increase in personal worth doesn’t really match the material costs of satisfying this hollow world. Exhausting.

Sometimes I think, how nice it would be to go home and be a farmer. No need to go to work every day, just busy during harvest, maybe not much money.

Self-Control

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In the morning, I opened my computer, and saw an email notification on gTalk, clicked on it out of habit.

While Gmail was loading, a thought crossed my mind. Is this email really so important that I have to check it at 9 AM, prime time? Seems like I don’t have any emails that crucial…

Once Gmail loaded, sure enough, it was a submission email from a design site showcasing visual works, listing many good pieces. I picked my favorite and clicked in. Again, out of habit, I scrolled the page from top to bottom. There were a few visually striking effects where I paused momentarily, but overall, I finished browsing the work in under 2 minutes.

Old and Alive

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This morning, I took Yanbing to the hospital for a prenatal checkup. Saw a lot of old folks there.

One of them, hair nearly all white (probably over seventy), was shuffling along with a prescription from the doctor.

Made me wonder: at that age, why bother seeing a doctor? Life’s almost at the end anyway.

Not that I don’t respect the elderly or value life. I just can’t grasp it. People know life eventually ends, so why go to such lengths to extend it? Even just for another day?

Parents

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

If it weren’t for the birth of my child, I doubt my dad would have ever come all the way to Hangzhou. He doesn’t want to trouble us or spend too much of our money. He’s only staying for three days this time because there are pigs, chickens, and ducks that need feeding back home. Sigh.

Born in the countryside, with our hometown right next to the airport, planes fly right over our roof every day. But flying was never for us. Occasionally, my parents would wonder when they’d ever get to fly. For that, I booked their tickets online two weeks early, fulfilling this little dream of theirs.

Hulitu-Dark

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The company rooftop on the 17th floor, though rarely visited, over time has gathered all kinds of shoe prints, scratches, and marks left by rainwater drying… These patterns are both random and orderly, without order, and mysterious… One day I deliberately went up with a digital camera to capture them… Picked one at random, mixed it with the already existing Hulitu image, and voilà, this wallpaper was born.

Hope you like it.

True Sounds Are Rarely Heard, True Forms Are Invisible

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I love this phrase, from Laozi’s Tao Te Ching, Chapter 40.

Taken literally: the greatest sounds are sparse and faint; the most vast and magnificent things are beyond our grasp.

But my interpretation is, “great sounds” do make noise, only they’re so huge that our limited hearing can’t perceive them; “great forms” do have shape, only they’re so immense our limited vision can’t see them.

For example, we can hear children shouting outside, a car engine starting, the roar of a rocket launch. But even greater sounds — the rotation of the Earth, the tectonic movements, the motion of celestial bodies — we can’t hear. Why? Human hearing is limited!

A Few Thoughts

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Honestly, I’m highly driven, especially at work. Back in 2006 at Baomihua, I was always thinking about how to compete with Tudou, how to be the best, doing my utmost. But it was the leaders’ understanding and beliefs that set the company’s direction. The company’s direction shaped its culture: restless and opportunistic. Company culture impacts the work atmosphere, style, and morale of the employees. My enthusiasm eventually cooled. Years of working life have taught me that if you’re a low-ranking soldier without a voice, it’s hard to change anything, let alone turn the tide.

Graphic Design Techniques

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Got some slack these days, so I gathered some thoughts on design. I searched “design” and came across an article about graphic design techniques on Baidu Baike. It was quite enlightening. These techniques were things we studied in college, and we even practiced each one.

After working so many years in a “more, faster, better, cheaper” commercial way, I’ve fallen into superficial, trendy visuals. I’ve actually forgotten those simple but powerful techniques. Reading this reminded me of a lot, including those all-nighters in college working on projects. A little nostalgic.

The Design Process

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Lately, I’ve been working on a TV music player. When starting the design, it made me think about something.

When you get a requirement, how do you start designing? Where do you begin?

Understand the requirements? Then what? Sketch a rough framework? Then what? Open Photoshop and dive in?

For a long time, that’s how I’ve designed, including the design for this music player. Suddenly, a thought popped into my head: “Is this even design?”

Thank God

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Thank God, I’m alive today; Thank God, my neck and back hurt, but I’m still healthy and strong; Thank God, though there’s financial stress with a baby on the way, I’m not lacking anything, I have enough to eat and wear; Thank God, my parents are still healthy; Thank God, my wife and I have small disagreements, but we still love each other dearly; Thank God, I know you—hope when happy, hope even when disappointed. Here’s this morning’s prayer, just jotting it down…

Prayers of the Saints

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I came across this post by a stranger called Lao Man on his blog. It moved me deeply, so I’ve taken these two excerpts to share here.

Theoretical Prayer by John Wesley

Have you ever spent a day in fasting and prayer? Striving earnestly before the throne of grace, praying with perseverance, until finally, mercy will come.

Give me a hundred ministers who fear nothing but sin and desire nothing but God. Such people will shake the gates of hell and establish the kingdom of heaven on earth. God does nothing but through prayer. Everything He does is in response to human prayer.

Life Without Limbs

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Quote:

I came across a short film titled Life Without Limbs, which moved me deeply. I’m sharing it here for others.

The protagonist of this film is named Nick. He’s a 24-year-old from Australia. Born without limbs—no arms from the shoulders, no legs from the hips. His mother is a nurse, and his father is a pastor. There’s no history of disability in their families, and during his mother’s pregnancy, she followed all the necessary precautions. Yet, having a child with such a condition was a huge blow and challenge for them. When he was four months old, they brought him home and raised him. He has one brother and one sister, both perfectly healthy.

Email from CJ

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

From: “dc”
Date sent: 2008-07-22 13:17:35
To: “yb”
Subject: Fw: Fetus is healthy, preparing for delivery

Dear brothers and sisters,

My child is expected to be born in about 50 days. The fetus is moving and healthy. Thank you all for your prayers, and may God’s Spirit protect.

Every time I read about Eli’s two sons or Samuel’s sons, I get worried, so I need your prayers:)

May this child (confirmed not to be twins) rely on the Lord, living a life that pleases Him.

Little Chubby

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Busy life finally slowed down; if I stayed that busy, even Yanbing would have an opinion.

Saturday was a perfect autumn day. Some friends from church and I gathered at the Hangzhou Botanical Garden. Hangzhou is full of scenic spots—if you don’t know how to appreciate and enjoy them, it’s really a waste.

Everyone was relaxed, with plenty of snacks and drinks. After filling up, a few of the guys went to the water’s edge to catch crayfish.

2U Release

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

The design of this album took a lot of time and effort. I’m quite proud of it. Even though it was only released as the “Barbella advertisement version” and the official version used a piece by a designer from Taiwan, I have no regrets. I enjoyed both the process and the result.

Support 7v’s new album “2U,” click to play.

For more design details, check out Naofeng Creations.

Ya-Jing

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Last night, I had hot pot with some friends and we talked about interesting things. One topic that really stuck with me was about children’s education. Maybe I’m more open to such discussions because I’m about to have kids myself.

There’s a story about a girl named ‘Ya-Jing.’ When she was a little over one year old, she accidentally got her fingers caught under the lid of a flip-top desk. Her fingers were reportedly flattened—it hurt a lot. Of course, she cried. Her mom came over to comfort her.

Learning GTD

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Thanks to cc for the share, I once again realized the importance of time management.

Time management is the foundation of self-management. I’ve been learning about it, but mostly in bits and pieces from the internet, without a structured approach. One principle of GTD I use frequently is, “If something’s worth doing and can be done in two minutes, do it now.”

Today, I had a lighter workload and spent a lot of time studying GTD (getting things done) to apply it better and boost my life efficiency.

The Cost

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Today, I finally got in touch about the student loan I’ve been putting off repaying.

The loan, taken around 2004 for 12,000, has grown to 17,900 with interest. I was genuinely surprised to see that.

I could’ve repaid the loan on schedule, and the interest wouldn’t have been this high.

There’s nearly 6,000 more in interest.

I can’t blame anyone else; I have to bear this cost myself, a consequence of my own personality.

Practice

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Practice

My wife is sleeping.

I turned on the computer I just shut down five minutes ago. After soaking my feet in hot water, I’m forcing myself to practice writing.

Life after marriage is of course happy and sweet. But I find myself with less self-control, no plans, unable to stick to things. It seems like whether I spend my days this way or that way, it doesn’t make a difference. Even the gift website I planned two months ago has made no progress.

Being a Designer

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Last week, classmate Zhou Feng invited me to join his company and take charge of product design. We had an interview, and it felt pretty good. It’s a startup—opportunities, benefits, all quite attractive. I almost went for it.

Sunday, I played guitar for the hymns at church. Suddenly, I realized my guitar skills are so poor. After nearly two years of learning, I shouldn’t be at this level. The singers might not notice the quality of the playing, but I know it well.

Carrot Spacecraft HT 07

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

On summer nights in the city, I miss the childhood skies in the countryside.

Back then, the nights were hot too, but there was wind.

The dark blue canvas, with stars twinkling. Sometimes, it was fireflies that flickered.

The night was purely black. Unlike the city, with its noisy lights.

The croaking frogs and the scent of fruit lulled me to sleep; sometimes crickets in the corners joined in the lively mix.

Practice Writing

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve long realized I’m not great at expressing myself, whether in text or graphics. I really envy those who can convey their thoughts clearly and effortlessly.

But what’s the point in envying? Time to practice.

For my blog, I used to think only content of value should be published, to be fair to the readers. Who wants to hear one person’s daily ramblings?

Honestly, I know I don’t have many readers.

Fox-Rabbit

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Wallpaper download: 1024-768 1280-800 1280-1024 1680-1050

Sometimes I’m gentle and kind;
Sometimes I’m cunning and evil;

Sometimes, I love carrots;
Sometimes, I’m fond of little hens;

I want more;
And give less;

I hope every rabbit is my friend,
Yet I think of making all rabbits my dinner;

In the fox’s den, I call the shots, do evil,
And sometimes want to be a rabbit again;

My heart turns to God,
But sometimes Satan binds me;

Life Lately

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

These days, I rarely write blog posts. At my age, there’s less room for feeling “sentimental.” Just living.

Here’s some news: my wife, Yanbing, is pregnant. God willing, I’ll be promoted to fatherhood by next February.

Since she’s pregnant, I’ve taken over almost all the house chores. The classic house husband. It’s a bit tiring, but it’s a happy tiredness.

We usually wake up around 6 AM (because we sleep early). Once we wake up, we just lie there and chat. My wife is beautiful. Haha. We’ll talk about anything—my stress, my mood, what I’m doing today. People need to communicate to live; and my wife is the best conversation partner. When we talk about my stress, my burdens, my frustrations, whatever’s bothering me, we share a smile and it all fades away.

Honeymoon

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

April 18 Hangzhou Wedding

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Time: April 18, 10:00 AM - 2:00 PM (It’s a long event with lots of activities, so we’re sacrificing some sleep.)

Suggested Gift Amount: 100 RMB

Location: Guoli Western Restaurant

Hangzhou Guests: Invitations in progress….

Wedding Photos

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Here’s a wedding photo. By the way, for friends planning to attend my Hangzhou wedding, the date has changed. Originally it was May 16th, now it’s April 18th (Saturday) from 12:00 to 2:00. If you’re interested in coming, contact me. 138-6749-5249. Thanks.

Just Married!

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Hey classmates, I got married in Changsha on March 23rd.

Since it was a Monday, classmates who were free and interested just came by (we held it in Huanghua Town, for details contact me at 13867495249).

For those who couldn’t make it, no worries.

Also, for those who came, no need to bring red envelopes. Just any small gift is fine. You can check About the Wedding for more details.

Daughter

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

New Year's Notes

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I decided to take 10 minutes to write this blog.

Last week, I went to Suzhou to meet her parents. My first time meeting them. Super nervous, but tried to act calm. Haha.

Felt like a negotiation.

I have nothing, yet I hope they’ll let me marry their daughter.

Could only be honest, say everything straight. I told them I have no house, no car, and the house in my hometown is in bad shape. Might still not afford a house for many years. Also told them I’m starting a business, doing a small trade.

On Weddings

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Recently, this year, many friends and classmates have gotten married. My little sister, Yang Yang, Tan Lu, and Tang Liu, for example. Congratulations to you all.

But, when friends and classmates ask me how much money to give as a wedding gift, scouring social circles for a “suitable” amount—I find it all very annoying. If you give too much, you regret it; give too little compared to others, and you fear losing face or damaging relationships.

My Rebekah

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

When Teacher Han told me, “She is like Rebekah,” I immediately felt she was exceptionally precious.

Goodbye, Hangzhou

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I went to Shanghai on this day last year. This year, I chose Suzhou. Last year I went alone; today there are two of us. Haha.

Happy New Year, everyone. As Dongdong says, “We’re a year older again.”

Also, special wishes for happiness to Yi. Blink of an eye and you’re working, with a wife and a house. You’ve been so quiet on your blog, I thought your skills were going backward. Write more in the future. Let this old guy know what you’re up to. Haha.

Late Autumn

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

It’s been more than two months since I touched my camera. This morning, the sunrise outside my window tempted me to capture this late autumn.

A little about my life recently. 2008, honestly, feels like a failure for me. But I plan to make the most of these remaining 30 days and break some bad habits. They say it takes 21 days to break or form a habit if you stick to it. I’ll give it a try.

Taking a Step Forward

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

When I looked back at my diary from last August, I saw how much I haven’t grown over the past year. No progress in faith, no progress in life’s direction.

In faith, I’m still lingering outside the door. Compared to last year, this year’s even worse. I’ve become numb. No matter how many testimonies from fellow believers I hear, no matter how many sermons, I feel nothing. I seem more complacent, lost in self-deception and superficial satisfaction, not alert. Yet I think I’m doing okay, because others see me as a believer, someone who talks about God often. Maybe some even say I’m earnestly seeking. But honestly, am I? No. Joining church activities, serving with guitar, but mostly for the social connections, my interests, my vanity—not because of God. My heart’s hardened, resisting God. Even if there are intentions to seek Him, I can’t muster the will to take even a small step.

Teach Us to Number Our Days That We May Gain a Heart of Wisdom

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."—Psalm 90:12. This verse has moved me deeply lately. Life is limited, time flies, and I’ve accomplished so little. I often feel like I’ve wasted my days.

But even if I’ve achieved some things, what does it matter? In the end, there’s still only death.

Thank God. There’s a path to a beautiful life, and I’m sure it’s there; one that’s prepared just for me, I’m sure of it. Yet, my vision is clouded, my heart confused, my body weak. I can’t find the right direction, and I often think life is long, just drifting along. When I search without finding, I feel sad and fill the void with fleeting things like food, desire, and shopping. These truly are empty.

Heavy Rain

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

A heavy rain fell swiftly and irresistibly from tens of thousands of meters above, passing through clouds and air, mercilessly drenching everything on the ground.

That was yesterday’s downpour.

I stopped what I was doing, opened the window, and watched the rain.

It’s been a long time since I quietly watched the rain like this, paying attention to how rain droplets gather into streams and joyfully flow down the eaves. A gust of wind brings a fresh scent after the rain washed away the scorching sun, reminding me of some past rain, vague yet profound.

I'm Hurt, But...

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

This time, it’s my third time boxing.

Last time, my left chest was still aching a bit. Today, I got hit in the same spot again—felt hard to breathe, just sitting in pain on the ground.

Got hit in the back of my head too. A little bruise on my left forearm, scratches and a lump on my right forearm. A straight hit made my lower lip crash into my teeth, leaving a small bruise.

Night Ride Around West Lake 0529

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I organized an event on Douban. The rough route is: Tiger Running (meet at 9:16 PM) > Zhijiang Road > Meiling South Road > Xuefeng Meiling Tunnel > Longjing Road > Beishan Road > Su Causeway > Nanshan Road > Wushan Square (eat watermelon). The entire trip is about 36 kilometers.

Dream 0531

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

It seemed to be early morning when I had a strange dream.

A young female professor from college had suddenly died. We needed to put her body in a coffin, and I was there.

“Come give us a hand,” said my little uncle, calling me over to help. The room had coffins of different shapes—rectangular, square, long cylinder—but all pitch black. They chose a long cylindrical one for her.

I was scared to approach, as I’ve always been afraid of things related to death since childhood. But I went over anyway.

Faith and Life's Meaning

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Every time I receive information from the outside, it impacts my Christian faith. Last night’s lecture at Zhejiang University was no different. Link to lecture

Maybe others have a point, maybe I have doubts about my faith, maybe my understanding of faith is limited. But until now, the information I’ve received only shows that apart from Christ, they can’t solve the question of life’s meaning. For me, the question is: “Where is my life headed?”

Some Principles

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

It’s more important to manage time well than to simply save it.

During work hours, avoid browsing the web aimlessly. That includes Douban, Grab a Shrimp, Blue Ideal, ffffound, and friends’ blogs.

Make things interesting, even work-related tasks. Cherish each chance to engage with graphics and color.

Though I haven’t succeeded, I feel like success is about continuously overcoming oneself.

Hangzhou Botanical Garden

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Early morning, exercising in a corner of the botanical garden.

From afar, I saw an elder lady walking around each tree on the path. She seemed to be looking for something, holding a small bunch of various leaves and branches. Gathering herbs, maybe?

I kept stretching and moving. Soon, she came to the tree in front of me. She looked about seventy.

“Young man, do you know what this tree is called?”

Prayer and Life

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

In the past, my prayers were often asking God to help me accomplish something. A lot of what I asked for was filled with worldly desires, vanity, and unholiness.

Today, I had a different feeling about prayer. Praying means trusting and relying on God, moving forward with faith, joy, and effort to do what needs to be done. Life isn’t about achieving something but finding value in our existence through the things we do.

Baptism

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday, I got baptized.
Biggest thing this year.

Just Do It When You Think of It

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Life’s too short, and hesitation costs too much.

On September 30th, after studying Genesis with Zu Ze at Zhou’s, we were about to turn into the village entrance on our bikes when I said, “It’s been a long time since I had a good bike ride.” Zu Ze said, “Then let’s go around West Lake now.” I said, “Sure.”

There were fewer people on the road at night, so we sped along, especially exhilarated when we crossed Su Causeway. We shouted with joy, feeling completely free.

Evening Talks with Friends

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Last night, a few brothers gathered at my place. Actually, I prefer to call them friends. In my view, not everyone qualifies as a friend.

Our conversation covered a wide range of topics: political systems, current events, the economy, faith, our lives. The final topic landed on “entrepreneurship.”

On this subject, I didn’t say much, just listened. I felt that each brother had accumulated abilities over many years. Such abilities and passion need an outlet through action to realize one’s own value. But I also sensed their concerns and lack of confidence. To most people, business seems complex, especially with those so-called unwritten rules in the market.

Squirrels, Trees, and Monsters from the Past

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Moved last week to Hangzhou Botanical Garden. It’s really comfortable. Planning to stay for at least a year, God willing.

Wednesday morning, I was on the balcony, enjoying the view. Suddenly saw a squirrel boldly scampering across the neighbor’s wall and jumping onto a large tree.

That’s the same squirrel.

The squirrel vanished. But then I noticed a splendid cedar tree.

Wandered around the botanical garden this morning. Everything’s real and vivid. Running, walking, jumping, singing, and howling, all very relaxed. Especially the howling—more like a whistling sound—sometimes overlapping, sometimes answering each other. As I drew, I responded to the distant forest’s calls now and then. Being with nature, I really felt “human.” But while drawing another favorite tree, I was quite surprised by the scene. Staring intently at the tree, admiring all its captivating features, suddenly, something bulky crawled out from the side—a moment thinking it was a big dog, then realizing it was an elderly man. Impressive! I’ve seen many crawlers but never anyone crawling with such earnestness. Don’t get me wrong; he was exercising.

Contentment in the Lord

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Philippians 4:10-14
我靠主大大地喜乐,因为你们思念我的心如今又发生;你们向来思念我,只是没得机会.我并不是因缺乏说这话,我无论在什么景况都可以知足,这是我已经学会了.我知道怎样处卑贱,也知道怎样处丰富,或饱足、或饥饿、或有余、或缺乏，随事随在，我都得了秘诀。我靠着那加给我力量的，凡事都能作。
I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at last you have revived your concern for me; indeed, you were concerned for me, but had no opportunity to show it. Not that I am referring to being in need; for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Let Me Be Cruel This Once

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Maybe I should have made this decision sooner. Even though I regret it a lot afterwards and find myself seeking comfort and relief by talking to friends, honestly, this is good for both of us. Selfishly speaking, it’s good for me. I can completely leave 2005 behind and not let it have even the slightest impact on my life now. Maybe I’m not strong enough. I hope you’re doing well.

Chinese New Year 08

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

After nearly 60 hours on a delayed train, 40 minutes on a long-distance bus, about 2 hours on public transportation, and 15 minutes on a motorcycle, I finally got home.

My parents looked much older, especially my father. Communication with them is sparse, as it’s always been. We’re an introverted family; we keep things to ourselves. But this year, something came up. My parents mentioned it, even my brother did. They said I should find a girlfriend and think about marriage. They’ve mentioned this before, but hearing it face-to-face from family feels overwhelming. Every relative I visited asked if I was seeing someone. I almost ended up in a matchmaking session.

Snow in Hangzhou

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Miss Zhang’s words describe this snow perfectly—it’s “powerful.” I’m satisfied. :)

I like scenes like this in black and white. They have a certain commemorative meaning. I love snow.

Saw lots of snowmen along the way.

Oh my God. ^^

Went to another hill.

Coke, it’s really something.

Haha… it’s still okay.

2007

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

Bits and pieces of joy. Thank you!

2007-1 pomoho

2007-2 Celebrating New Year at home, with my Indian friend Babu

2007-2 High school reunion, I blush easily when I drink

2007-5 Summer

2007-6 Went back home

2007-6 My family’s rice fields

2007-6 Mom and her melons

2007-7 Graduation art exhibition of my friend from Guomei

2007-8 First time seeing the sea

Stay Hungry Stay Foolish

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I’m finally compiling a few bits of “biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student…” — this stuff gets reshared every year on graduation timelines, and every year it gets longer with new embroidery. It’s a little funny how much the “dot connecting” and “stay hungry, stay foolish” advice gets recycled, but I guess if it worked for him, there’s some truth to it after all.

Finding what you love in life sometimes feels like a myth the older you get. When you’re broke and struggling to pay rent, the “follow your passion” line loses some shine. But I guess there’s something about the raw drive, the “clay” of experiences that stack up behind you when you just keep going, just keep trying. Maybe love and loss aren’t really big contrasting themes, but more like ways to keep going anyway. I don’t know; it’s late.

About Simplicity

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I often fear and reject “simplicity,” worried others will think I’m shallow or lacking depth, not “enough.” Looking back at my lifestyle, interactions, reading, and design, I see how much I’ve let outside voices bury me, just going with the flow. In some late nights, or when alone by West Lake, I know this isn’t what I truly want inside. Why? Because in this monster of a world, I often worry how the world sees me, whether it accepts me.

My Ideals

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

How do I view my ideals?

What if my ideals may never be realized in this lifetime? What should I do?

Life is really short, and life is pretty meaningless. How should I live it?

What do I need to do in ‘08?

Living by Faith

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

So, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16 (NIV)

Leaving

Mon, 01 Jan 0001 00:00:00 +0000

I decided to leave this company at the end of the year, which is a season full of “harvests.” :P

No exaggeration to say, this past year has felt like walking through the valley of the shadow of death. But thank God for guiding my path, giving me faith and peace. It assures me that life’s journey is prepared and aided by the Lord.

When there’s peace, faith, and love in your heart, the world truly feels beautiful.