Hold the Tissues — Let Them Cry

Whenever I see my kids, especially my two-year-old daughter, burst into tears over the smallest things, I find myself feeling really envious.

I used to love a song by Andy Lau called “Men Cry Isn’t a Sin.” For adults, having a good cry is much rarer and more precious than having a good laugh. Looking back, I realize that genuine tears and deep crying are rare for me throughout the year.

But each time I do let myself cry, my whole body and soul undergo a complete release. For me, these moments usually happen during prayer, when I’m pouring out my heart to God.

I’ve noticed something interesting at church, especially in smaller group settings. When we’re sharing openly, if someone (usually a sister) gets emotional and starts crying, even sobbing, there’s an unspoken “rule” that kicks in.

Someone, often with good intentions, will rush to get tissues and offer them. As soon as the tissues are handed over, the person’s emotions usually begin to calm down, the crying eases, and eventually stops.

From my own limited, precious crying experiences as a middle-aged man, I can say that if I find myself in tears, I wish a light would turn on above my head saying: Please, don’t give me tissues, let me cry as much as I need.

Because honestly, the chance to cry is pretty rare for adults. Since it’s so rare, why not let someone cry to their heart’s content?

So my advice is simple: when someone is crying, don’t be so quick to hand them tissues. Let them naturally calm down. Please don’t take away the right to fully enjoy a good cry, even if your intention is one of kindness.