Thoughts on Starting an Indie Development Journey

On March 29 of this year, I left the organization I had served for five years to become an indie developer.

Five years isn’t a short time. For me, these past five years were a pivotal period, as I immigrated from China to the United States.

I’m very thankful for the friends I worked with. It was a great team with a good environment for work and growth. Even so, I felt the time had come to move to the next stage, or at least to change something.

By the end of 2025, I started using AI tools like Cursor and Claude for some design work, and even created actual products. That feeling was incredible.

It almost brought me back to 2005 or so. Back then, I was obsessed with making Flash websites and personal sites, doing creative designs (also called “airplane drafts” at the time). But now it’s completely different. With AI’s help, even designers who know nothing about coding can create products that users can actually use.

In my spare time, I dropped all other hobbies, like fishing and woodworking, and spent all my time using AI to realize my ideas.

But there’s never enough time. To make these ideas happen, I’ve been cutting into my rest time and the time I spend with family — my wife and kids. Also, approaching forty, my energy isn’t what it used to be. Both mentally and physically, after a while, my back aches, and my eyes get blurry.

Gradually, I felt I needed more complete time to realize my ideas. These ideas would first solve problems that my family, friends, and I face. I hope they could also help more people in similar situations and bring corresponding rewards.

Thus, the idea of leaving the organization slowly took root in my mind.

In the following period, I was conflicted and thought a lot, discussing it with my wife.

First was the relatively stable income source. After leaving, that would become unstable. Especially for someone like me who grew up fearing poverty, it would take some mental overcoming and breakthroughs.

Then there’s the team. During collaboration, there’s always friction and energy drain, especially mentally. But being in a team actually brings atmosphere, interpersonal relationships, more care for one another, and interactions.

In contrast, leaving the team to become an indie developer would surely feel lonelier, requiring more effort in learning and growth. Without the team, there’s no natural environment for learning and sharing.

Then there’s the sense of purpose. What my previous team did was indeed valuable and meaningful. Choosing to become an indie developer after leaving, honestly, wasn’t something I was 100% sure about. It felt more like an exploration, possibly facing a loss of social identity. Previously, at social gatherings, friends would introduce each other by the organizations they belonged to, gaining recognition. Now, after leaving, as an indie developer, you become more unknown.

I did a few things to sort my thoughts. Of course, during these processes, I kept communicating with my wife, hoping she’d understand and support me.

The first thing was to look at our family’s financial situation, using AI to help analyze it.

I estimated two aspects:

1. Assets: including current savings and stock investments
2. Expenses: including family living expenses in the US, short and long-term education for our three kids, medical needs, and various taxes

By comparing the two, I determined that within the next N years, I am actually in a position to explore this path for a while.

I started recording my daily thoughts and feelings, pulling these things out of my head bit by bit and turning them into words. The core idea is that I want to give myself a chance to try, a chance I owe myself at least once in this life.

From 2005 to 2026, I’ve worked for 21 years. Despite what friends and outsiders see as an adventurous spirit, as I’ve always worked at startups, in reality, I’m very timid and cautious, with a weak resistance to risk. I’ve always joined others’ startups to realize their ideas, but never gave myself the chance to realize my own.

I’m 43 now, nearing mid-century. Maybe this is the best, peak time. I want to pause and give myself a chance to try. Even if I fail, I think I won’t regret it. But who says I have to fail? Isn’t success possible, too?

Such thoughts and struggles continued for a while. Until one day, I reached a point of perfect balance, feeling very at peace.

Then, I could either choose to continue working at the organization or leave to start my own exploration. At that point, both options felt equally balanced.

So, I decided to break that balance: I chose to leave.

Team friends said, why so sudden? But for me, it wasn’t sudden. I had been thinking and struggling for a while, but the decision itself was quick. That’s just how I do things.

After formally announcing my departure to the team, I especially shared my thought process with my two older kids at home.

My eldest daughter supported me in giving myself a chance to realize my ideas, and she admired that I did so. But my 12-year-old son was more concerned about whether we’d have enough money and was worried about our financial situation.

I told him, “As long as you have breakfast to eat every morning, it means our finances are still okay.”

Now, as an indie developer for three weeks, I’ve released a small macOS tool (iterated several versions) and a Bible widget iOS app (purely as a learning exercise to understand some iOS features, and probably won’t update it much in the future).

I can’t say the process is very exciting, but it’s definitely a very unique experience and feeling.