The Tension Between Faith and Design: Reflections on Being Tough

Over the past year or so, I’ve found myself in a peculiar state, leading me to some self-reflection. In many areas, I’ve gradually realized, “I might not always be right.” It’s a process of breaking down my pride and self-image.

For instance, I used to believe I was a perfect and comprehensive dad, but my teenage daughter gave me a hard lesson, showing me my weakness and helplessness. Those parenting philosophies I once held dear often don’t work at all.

I’m starting to experience similar realizations in my design work. I haven’t faced the same “skin-deep pain” yet, but I’ve entered a period of confusion. This year marks my twentieth year in the design industry. One of the design philosophies I’ve embraced over these two decades is “pursuing excellence.” To me, excellence means setting rigorous standards, not compromising easily, pushing myself and others, and trying until I find a solution that excites me and brings peace.

In design biographies, Steve Jobs and Elon Musk influenced me the most. They were tyrant-type figures, lacking morality and empathy, extremely harsh on others, but they created extraordinary works.

Between 2013 and 2017, my mantra was: “It’s okay,” “Not bad.” My former boss, Wang Yi, once joked in the team, “Diff is a nice guy. He always says ‘Not bad,’ ‘It’s okay.’” In hindsight, I realize this was a stern reminder for me — almost humiliating (though that wasn’t his intention).

From years of design experience, I’ve concluded: “Nice guys don’t make good designers, especially in team collaboration.” Because “nice guys” have low standards, compromise too easily, and cater to others’ preferences (which is different from rationally considering feedback). Only those who adhere to high standards and are tough on themselves and others can create truly impactful designs. This principle applies in other fields too — some people are indeed difficult to get along with, sharp and distinct, but they often deliver the best results.

In later years, I slowly became one of those “tough people.”

However, over the past year, from a Christian perspective, I’ve started to question this “tough design person” role.

God is, of course, a perfect Lord, and everything He creates has perfect order and beauty. This means our design standards can and should strive for perfection. As Christians, we should emulate and imitate our Creator, striving for excellence and perfection in our respective fields.

Yet, in practice, especially when collaborating with other Christians in service settings, we’re often reminded to “be kind,” speak of grace, and embody humility. We should “empty ourselves,” “consider others better than ourselves.” The result often turns into mutual humility, forgiveness, and tolerance, but no outstanding results.

So, when I try to set clear, even strict standards in a project, I often feel conflicted. These standards seem to clash with the “grace,” “gentleness,” and “consideration” emphasized in Christianity. This tension leaves me struggling, wondering how to balance maintaining standards and living out my faith.

I don’t have a clear answer yet. But I’m starting to think: What’s the motivation behind it?

When I insist on standards and strict execution, is my intention out of love and truly wanting to get things right? Or is it out of pride, trying to showcase my ability and authority? These motivations may seem similar but are fundamentally different and worth reflecting on, examining, and assessing.

If you have had similar experiences or thoughts, I would really welcome your sharing and feedback. Thanks for reading this far.