In a Low

I’m in a low right now. Don’t know how to be a person, a husband, a father.

Tired, weary, confused, empty, chaotic. My body hurts too, eyes are dry, dealing with a sore throat and cold.

Self-pity.

I pray, but the prayers feel powerless. It’s like I’m talking to myself. Even if it seems like religious comfort (I’ve lowered my faith to this point), it’s all I can manage.

I’ve talked to Yanbing about how I feel, but people ultimately can’t fully understand or share each other’s burdens.

People are really alone. (Thinking this way makes me wonder, how can anyone not know God?)