Starting Life's Second Half in a New Time Zone

Decided to fly to the U.S. on August 8th, over ten days earlier than planned. I noticed that the fourth day after arriving in the U.S. would be my 40th birthday. Back in the day, Moses was 40 when he moved to another country to start a new life (a friend’s comment to me).

I have to admit, this journey has been guided by the God I believe in, just like when He led me in 2006 to leave “my country and my people” and move from Changsha to Hangzhou, and in 2013 led my family to move from the city we lived in for seven years to Shanghai. After nine years in Shanghai, our family set out again to start life in Los Angeles.

I am so small, foolish, and weak. If I planned and mapped out my path relying only on my own thoughts, abilities, and resources, I imagine it would be darkness and chaos, filled with sorrow and burdens. I’ve told my wife many times that without God, someone as clueless and ordinary as me “wouldn’t even know how I died.” I have no power to know the road tomorrow. Thank God for His guidance and protection.

Immigrating to the U.S. makes some people envious and leaves some family and friends puzzled. Maybe it’s because of my design background and my work in the internet industry, but since college, I’ve been influenced by Europe and America. Historically, I longed for the freedom and tech vibe of America. It was, in my understanding, an ideal place. But in recent years, the more I understood human sin and God’s word, the more I realized there’s no perfect nation in this world. China does have its problems, but other issues are more prevalent in America. There is no heaven on earth.

Friends around me say I’m someone who likes challenges and adventures. In reality, I’m like anyone else, inclined toward stability and security. After nine years in Shanghai, everything from life resources to relationships with church brothers and sisters, coworkers, and friends had reached a stable and comfortable stage. Overall, despite constant outside pressures, it was still manageable and well within control. Leaving the known comfort for unknown challenges is a big struggle.

Handling the long-distance, long-term separation from parents and siblings isn’t easy either. My brother says I’m carefree, but I’m really not. I have lots of concerns and reluctance, which he actually knows. Our parents don’t want us to leave in their hearts but always express support and blessings. Each time I see them, I feel their aging and their need for their children. Both physically and mentally, they need care and companionship. Living in America means moving away from family. Especially with current U.S.-China relations, going back to China is not easy. Many nights, these struggles keep me awake. I often sigh, wondering how I should choose.

During the immigration process, we prayed often. But because it took so long, we got weary at times. Thank God that through reminders from elders in faith, we refocused on our relationship with God two months before leaving. Facing such tough decisions, my wife and I (sometimes with the kids) prayed together in unity.

In prayer, I entrusted my fears and worries about the unknown, and my deep, complex, hard-to-sever emotions towards my parents/siblings/relatives to the Lord. Especially in handling emotions, if focused only on the “human” aspect, I’d fall into a dilemma where any choice would leave me deeply regretful and ashamed, unable to move forward. I had to honestly come before the Lord to express my thoughts and motives, fully confessing my limitations and smallness as a person, and my inability to know my future path. Whether leaving or staying, I accept and submit calmly.

From applying for EB1A in March 2021, to driving 1200 km back to Changsha on the eve of the Shanghai “silent management” on May 9, 2022 (aiming to go to Guangzhou for an interview, Guangzhou wasn’t accepting visitors from Shanghai, so I went back to Changsha as a “migrant worker returning home” to clear my Shanghai travel record), to the successful interview in Guangzhou on June 13, and quickly and smoothly dealing with the house and car in Shanghai, even catching the plane at the last moment—it was all God’s protection and care. During this process, we felt God’s safeguarding. I asked Eather, do you think God is leading our family? She said, I see everything going smoothly for you, and it’s always just right, so I think it’s God’s leading. (Thank God for smooth sailing, and I hope we can be thankful and praise Him even when things aren’t smooth.)

Throughout the immigration process, we received immense help from many friends. Some introduced us to lawyers, some wrote reference letters, some explained various aspects of life in the U.S., and some friends I’ve never met even patiently and confidently answered my questions and confusion. I’m a person indifferent about relationships, valuing self-sufficiency. Receiving so much help and care from friends over this year truly moved and touched me, to some extent breaking my indifference and lack of care for people.

I began writing this piece on the plane from Shanghai to Los Angeles on August 8, over the long hours crossing the Pacific. It’s only now, nearly a month later, after completing basic settling tasks like renting a house, buying a car, and finding schools for the kids, that this is finished. The human heart is proud, always wanting to glorify itself. I don’t want these words to become my own pride. If these words can give others a bit of help or comfort, if they can, through reviewing my experiences, reflect God’s glory—that’s what I hope for. In this struggle between self-pride and glorifying God, this article has gone through many changes.

When the plane landed in San Francisco for a layover, looking at the bright moon from the cabin window, I felt an extraordinary peace. It’s still the moon created by Jehovah.