What Am I Looking Up To?

Jan 22, 2021 at 6:26 AM

“Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other.” (Isaiah 45:22, NIV)

“Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.” (Isaiah 45:22, KJV)

Salvation is really that simple: just look to God. It doesn’t require any action (no need for ascetic practices), just a change of heart.

But changing my heart? That’s the hardest part. Whether it’s moving from disbelief to belief, or feeling disgust for past pleasures of sin leading to repentance, or seeing the world in a new light—any small yet new transformation in my heart, I take as a miracle from God, the work of the Holy Spirit within me.

From many past experiences of turning back to God from weakness, valleys, and sin, I believe that looking to and turning to God, besides the work of the Holy Spirit within me—conviction, comfort, reminders, pushing forward—I also need to engage my will. Sometimes my rebellion reaches a “stiff-necked” stage. In such times, I think, “I need to love the Lord my God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind.” With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind. Exerting all my strength, this is what I owe to God.

Like others, like the Israelites, in adversity and suffering, I easily look to God, turn to God, rely on God. Because in such circumstances, I realize my limitations and can’t rely on myself.

However, as soon as the situation brightens, that damn “pride, ignorance” inside me acts up, basically saying, “God, you can step aside now. Watch me.” Slowly, I turn from God to idols (everything outside of God: people, abilities, resources, environments).

Sometimes when my faith is strong, I say, “God, just keep me in struggles so I won’t leave you.” From the Old to the New Testament, almost none of the prophets, kings, or people can stand firm, looking to God solely in “prosperity and blessings.” That’s human nature—weak and limited.

Lord, help me look to you every day with all my heart, soul, and mind, keeping my “inner self renewed day by day.”

Thanksgiving:

1. The children’s school transfer is finally settled. Thankful for friends who communicated and consulted with us (Sister WL, Sister ZZ, Brother RJ, Brother XF, Brother WY). Is the new school definitely better than the old one? Honestly, it’s unknown. Will the future educational path be stable, unchanging? Not necessarily. The unknown and change easily lead me to worry. Through prayer, I hand it over to God. Thank God, circumstances change constantly, but God is eternally unchanging and my eternal refuge.
2. Thankful for the teachers who helped our two children over the past years! Heartfelt thanks at parting. Each teacher cared for the kids with love and dedication. Looking back, I’m full of gratitude and emotion. May God bless you all.
3. Thank God for safeguarding our family’s health. Even though Anran’s eczema on his hands is severe, he’s still lively every day. Thank God!