The Power of Life That Came Later
Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later. (John 13:36)
Every Christian has had a unique moment when they were drawn to Jesus (or His church), and led back home to the Lord. That first encounter with Jesus can be quite surface-level, but it’s also very important. The first time I went to church, it was because someone invited me to sing and eat on a Sunday. I mistakenly thought it was karaoke and a meal. Once there, I was deeply drawn by the hymns and the love between brothers and sisters.
I’ve been pondering, what is my ‘before the rooster crows three times’ moment? It’s that point of personal despair, a sudden awakening to one’s true condition: loveless, powerless, with nothing to rely on.
Looking back, I’ve had many moments where I felt hopeless about myself and turned to God. Moments like harboring grudges to the point of being unable to forgive, a sense of despair and emptiness in life, repeatedly succumbing to sins like lust, greed, and anger without any resistance. In those times, thank God for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I truly learned to ‘follow Jesus,’ counting myself as nothing, relying on grace.
However, over the years, my spiritual state has fluctuated. I’ve often thought, even recently, do I need to go through a major event to bring myself completely to the brink, leading me to fully reject myself and surrender to God? I believe that in faith, I need to face greater despair in myself (and likely will). But I shouldn’t hope that one event will make me completely holy. Peter kept following Jesus after the rooster crowing incident, but he wasn’t wholly sanctified—he still had many flaws. We’re human, and people are never perfect (but those who believe in Jesus are no longer identified as sinners, but are seen as righteous).
As Oswald Chambers said, no matter how much Jesus changes my life, I must not rely on these changes but only on the Holy Spirit. Each day, I must clothe myself with the Lord Jesus.
Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later. These words of Jesus give me hope, hope for that eternal kingdom.
Thank God for:
Conversations with elders in Turkey. It’s more like being cared for and helped by them than helping them.
A fairly good relationship with my daughter. When discussing writing, she shows interest (enjoying the wordplay a bit).
Deciding to read 5 chapters of the Bible daily with church brothers and sisters (seems like I can finish in about 14 minutes).