Thoughts on 'Home Schooling Four Kids'
This book is by a Taiwanese Christian mom who adopted four kids with her American husband because they couldn’t have children of their own—two girls and two boys. The book shares their family’s journey and experiences with homeschooling.
Curious about their lives, I found the mom’s blog. It turns out that in 2015, the family sold their Taipei apartment and moved to the clean, spacious countryside of Taitung. They started building their farmhouse and selling farm products. They’ve done what I dream of doing but never had the courage to try.
Schools Aren’t Always the Best for Learning Social Skills
One of the biggest worries about homeschooling kids is that without classmates, they might lose out on learning and practicing social skills. The author argues that schools and classmates aren’t necessarily the best way to learn social skills for two reasons: 1) Kids don’t have much to learn from each other about social relationships; 2) In school, the most about social relationships comes from teachers. But often, due to limited energy, teachers rarely understand kids deeply or enter their inner world.
Instead, families—especially those with siblings—under parents’ guidance, can offer great opportunities for learning social skills. I feel this too. My daughter and son often have conflicts. But through these conflicts and guidance from us, they learn “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” slowly learning confession, patience with each other, forgiveness, and love.
Not Climbing Higher Isn’t a Lack of Ambition, It’s Wisdom
The author’s American husband was a tech expert in the States and studied technology for another 8 years in Taiwan. People with similar age and skills often strive to enter good companies to showcase their talents. But from a family perspective, they chose not to climb higher; both opted for freelancing.
For me, in the internet and design industry, I understand the burden and cost of “climbing higher”—sacrificing health and family. Truly being able to let go and not climb higher is wisdom and courage.
What Kind of Person Do You Want to Raise Your Kids to Be?
Sometimes I get really anxious. Our generation grew up with messages like “falling behind means getting beaten,” “don’t be left behind at the starting line,” and “core competitiveness.” We’re tense about educating the next generation, fearing missing something.
When calm, you can feel that humans actually feel like “humans.” We’re not machines or a part of a societal system. Humans are soft, emotional, delicate, and thoughtful. We are also helpless, unable to foresee the future. What will our kids’ future be like? What careers will they have? What challenges will they face? Who knows? But, if I had to say what kind of person I’d want them to become, I do have some answers.
The author says people are born valuable—not valuable because of education, ability, or achievements but because of the unique value given by our Creator, God. Yes, that’s it.
Goals for Different Stages
Reflecting on my own educational journey, some key points deserve thought: 1) Why learn; 2) Interest in learning; 3) Ability to learn (the method). In my day, learning was very utilitarian, to get out of rural life, to “eat government food.” Therefore, among all the subjects and majors, little joy for learning was felt, losing the genuine interest in learning. Politics, history, geography should have been interesting subjects but ended up dull. Learning ability (method) was seldom taught by teachers—it was all about results and grades.
The author defines learning goals for kids’ different stages. In elementary school, learn life skills and habits (learn household chores); in middle school, learn to think; by high school, must have mastered the ability to self-study. By then, all parents can do is cheer them on. Completely agree.
Competitiveness and Quality
People often talk about “competitiveness.” So, what is it really? Is it education level, major, or technical skills? Not entirely. In my nearly fifteen years of experience, especially in the last five or six years, I’ve interviewed many people and worked with many. Whether someone’s competent or not can sometimes be sensed in a few sentences or at most through working together for three to five days. If basic technical skills are not an issue, the difference between people lies in quality, I believe. These qualities include upbringing, empathy, communication skills, and proactiveness.
The author says, compared to competitiveness, what’s more important is developing kids’ ability to interact, serve others, and learn. Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. That’s so true.
Afterword
- First time reading a Taiwanese book, reading from back to front, right to left, top to bottom, and in traditional Chinese. It took almost three weeks of fragmented time to finish reading it.
- Author’s blog address: https://vocus.cc/farmhouse/home