Obstacles to Prayer

This morning, when I suddenly sang “Ebenezer, the Lord has helped us thus far,” my heart paused.

Do I really believe this?

If I truly believed so, then there are many things in my life now that I need to pray for. But I still can’t move past what seemed like a failed prayer the last time.

I often hear teachings like: “You can place your needs in prayer, but whether God grants them or not depends on His will; some prayers that aren’t granted might not align with God’s will. You should pray in ways that align with God’s will.”

Whenever “God’s will” is mentioned, I only think of “evangelism and saving souls,” something I’m not too willing to do (though honestly, I am willing, yet there’s always a bit of feeling and struggle involved).

At least, I’m not ready to make “evangelism and saving souls” the top priority in my life.

I always focus on reality, on my own things.

For example, how to do design well, how to start a business, how to make money…

These are what I care about, what my mind plans and sometimes worries about every day.

But I can’t bring these into my prayers, because they clearly don’t align with “God’s will.”

And I don’t want to forcefully link these with “God’s will” just to achieve my goals.

This is why I can’t entrust these matters into prayers.

Also, a couple of days ago, I finished reading “The Life of Bunyan,” and one line left a deep impression on me:

The devil always wants people to treat every single aspect of life as a test of whether God accepts them, loves them, or even as evidence of whether God exists.