08春节

经过晚点近60个小时火车旅程,40分钟的长途汽车,2小时左右的公交车,15分钟的摩托车后,终于到家了.

父母看起来了又苍老了很多,特别是父亲。和父母的交流很少,长期以来都是这样的,一家人都是内向型。很多事情都放在心里。但是今年有一件事,父母都提出来了,甚至我弟弟也提出来了,那就是,我应该找个女朋友,考虑婚姻了。当然,这事以前家人就提过,只是和家人面对面提及的时候,我觉得莫大的压力。走亲戚时,逢人必问我谈了没有。差点就搞了一次相亲。

再就是,父母提醒我今年需要节省点,多存点钱,或许要考虑在长沙买房子,因为要结婚嘛。

从心里认为,父母说的都对 。可是我心里要的生活方式不是这样。其实,我也不大清楚自己需要怎样的一种生活,只有一个模模糊糊的方向,但我认为这个方向是不会错的。我不想去刻意的追求金钱,甚至不考虑买房子。对于婚姻,我不会因为外界的压力去寻找,顺其自然。非常清楚自己本身还有很多软弱,还不具备承担一个家庭的责任心与能力。我想再漂两年。想去北京生活一年。

在家里心里比较矛盾,痛苦。我认为自己是自私的。和冬瓜交流的时候,他说了一句让我比较安心的话:对于父母,需要孝顺他们,但不要受限于父母一辈的价值观。

初三晚上,父亲再一次和建议我往教师方面发展,提到某熟人运气好,也费了一点周折,在附近学校找了份差事,学校安排了房子,今年买了个三四万的小车。“稳定”,父亲不止一次的提到。还在我读大一的时候,父亲就建议我去当老师,至今都没有放弃这样的建议。这一次,我说了一句很牛叉的话来反驳他:我想过当老师,是以后,没有生活压力的时候。当老师就要做一个好老师,认认真真地教学生。如果为了稳定,为了钱财,这样的老师不会好到哪里去,会害了人家小孩子。父亲再也没说话了。估计今后不会提及教师这个事了。

在家的生活,和往年一样,吃吃喝喝,烤火,看电视… …信仰生活一塌糊涂,没有看过一段圣经。初四,礼拜天。和冬瓜,冬瓜妈妈一起去了镇上的一个小教堂礼拜。第一次参加乡村教堂的聚会,非常的感动。老公公,老婆婆,中年妇女,青年男子,小娃娃… …不同的人,但大家都听得认真。讲道非常的好,纯朴的语言,引用的例子也是乡村的日常生活中的事情。唱赞美诗的时候,方言唱得,我居然没反映过来。之后去一个姊妹家里吃饭,她家三个女儿,两个在上大学。家里看起来清贫,但一家人非常的开心,满足,幸福。
感觉得到,他们对生活充满希望。

再次让我思考,幸福关乎金钱与物质吗?

从初三就开始关注回程火车票,初五那天我去了火车站排队。完全不意外:没有票。随即坐彭立珊去了学校。也是快毕业三年的人了,算是阔别。校园非常安静,一个人把学校那几条经典的路走了一遍。感慨很多。自然会想起两年前的恋爱,回忆起来相当的美。青春,又离我远去两年了。最近两年,每次提及“青春”这个词,总是无限伤感,因为她离我越来越远,直到有天我再年轻。想起大学时的生活,上课,宿舍生活,通宵画图,逃课,踢球;想起同学们,老张,老彭,陈滨,小孙,卢地,王涛,老赵,韩斑斑… …,这些或朋友或畜牲们,那时或融洽或矛盾,回想起来真是美好,顺便也想问问,你们最近在干吗?

走在校园的小道上,看着那一幢幢的建筑,我在想,四年大学,学生应当学会什么?大学应该给与学生什么?对于偏重技能与技术的专业,毫无疑问,需要教会学生技能;个人认为,对于更普遍的学生,学校应该让学生通过四年的大学生活,明白什么是美?什么是爱?勇气、善良、正直、自信。学校不是一个商业的场所!或许某天我会从事教育。

初五下午见了老妹。两年没有见面了。聊了彼此的生活,更多的聊了信仰。真的希望老妹某天能够有信仰,并依靠信仰过内心平静、喜乐的生活。心里有很多的亏欠,因为自己信仰的不坚定,和她谈起信仰的时候,感觉到有些苍白无力。真的希望那位掌大权者能眷顾我这个老妹。Thanks God.

晚上住在王涛家里。大一时候很好的朋友,大二下半期有了一些误会,一直不相往来,毕业散伙饭时,终于“一醉泯恩仇”,重归于好。其实就那么点小事。现在又是很好的朋友。生活很认真的一个人了。找了老婆,买了房子,生活幸福。哈哈。晚上我睡他们家沙发,住在自己房子的感觉感觉应该很好。但我不会刻意为了房子而生活。和王涛聊了一些媒体的话题,和互联网挺像。也聊了满多他的生活,我的生活谈的少,但感觉大家生活都挺辛苦的,也很充实。早上吃了他妈妈做的饺子,很好吃。这一次来的非常匆忙,忘了带份小小礼物。过几天补上。

这些文字居然写了两个小时,不详写了。记个总体流水账:

2月 3号,杭州雪。

2月4号下午4点的火车。排队,被告知晚点至5号中午12点。

2月5号中午12点,排队,被告知晚点至下午4点;4点被告知,晚点至6点;6点被告知,晚点至晚上8:50;晚上8:50,终于 开车了。

2月6号,火车在株洲站排队进站,耗费2个小时。(居然堵在家门口了)

2月7号,在奶奶家里过年。和二叔家的关系不大好,关系和陌生人一样。奶奶病重,或许…

2月9号,在舅舅们家。大年晚上给他们拜年时被问到有没有带女朋友回来。我顺势说带了,结果,2月9号,全部在等我的女朋友出现,红包都准备好了。哈哈

2月10号,小镇教堂礼拜。下午与冬瓜聊天。

2月11 号,重游母校。

王涛

老妹

2月12号,定机票,与虾米嬷嬷见面;与花花见面。

花花

海哥哥(给三个女人提包,牛叉)

2月13号,回杭州。 搞卫生。整理一下,小屋子住住也不错。

2月14号,上班了。

杭州雪

这场雪,用张小姐的话形容,一个词,“给劲”。我满意了:)

我喜欢黑白片下这样的场景,具有某种纪念意义。喜欢雪。

一路上看到很多雪人。

额的神^^

去另外一个山头。

可乐,真是可乐。

哈哈。。。还可以。

从未孤单。

2007

美好的点点滴滴。感谢!

2007-1 pomoho

2007-2 在家过年,还有印度朋友babu

2007-2 高中同学聚会,我喝酒易脸红

2007-5 夏天

2007-6 回家了一趟

2007-6 我家的水稻

2007-6 妈妈和她的瓜

2007-7 国美朋友毕业画展

2007-8 第一次看海

2007-8 独立船头(曾用来相亲)

2007-8 海

2007-10 米花足球队。爆米花,再见了

2007-10 弟兄姊妹

2007-10 造型不错哈:)

2007-10 第一次看圣经哭了。很想看自己哭是怎样,所以拍了:)

2007-11 其实,我是沙特王子

2007-11 其实,我是阿拉法特

2007-11 其实,我爱中国

2007-11 圣诞晚会,第一次打领带

2007-12 冬天

2007-12-31 零七末

2008-1-1 零八初

Stay hungry stay foolish

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation – the Macintosh – a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

关于简单

我常常惧怕、排斥“简单”,担心被人认为没有内涵、深度,“不够量”。审视过去的生活方式、为人处事、读书、设计,被太多外界的声音所埋没,随波逐流。某些深夜,或一人独处西湖时,深知自己内心所要的并非这样。为什么?因为活在这个妖怪的世界,时常担心世界怎么看我,能否接受我。

但既然如同所有生命一样,将来某天我会离开这个世界,并且,世界和世界的标准、价值观都会过去,那么,为什么在这有限且宝贵的生命中要活在这样并非永恒的标准中?

我可以简单的。而且可以活得更自由与释放。

无须你的理解。

理想

对于理想,我怎么看?

如果我的理想这一辈子也许都难实现,我怎么做?

生命真的短暂,人生又是相当的虚空,我该怎么活?

08年,我要做哪些事?

靠信心生活

所以,我们不丧胆。外体虽然毁坏,内心却一天新似一天。我们这至暂至轻的苦楚,要为我们成就极重无比永远的荣耀。原来我们不是顾念所见的,乃是顾念所不见的,因为所见的是暂时的,所不见的是永远的。

哥林多后书 4:16

离开了

选择离开这个公司了,在年底这个充满“收获”的季节:P

一点不夸张地说,这一年来是一种死荫幽谷的状态。但感谢神,指引我的路,赐我信心、平安。让我有确信,人生的路有主预备与帮助。

心里有平安、信心、有爱了,会觉得世界真的美好。

爱树木、花草、阳光、夜晚、风、大山、流水、奔跑的人、美丽的女孩、戏耍的小孩。爱一切的生命。风来了,享受风;雨来了,享受雨;幸福来了,享受幸福;苦难来了,享受苦难。

接下来的日子,将会进行总结与寻找新的工作。

我将重新做回设计,有种回归的感觉。呵呵。